Veep Debate Commentary

Got here late, because Mrs. Cornell wouldn’t let me out of doing the dishes.

Biden’s now saying that these are the worst economic policies in history and blaming all this crap on Republicans.

Palin is now speaking. She looks great. Brings up a kid’s soccer game right away. “I betcha you’re gonna hear some fear.” A little too cute, although Biden’s oddly restrained. She’s saying everyone’s scared. Sounds solid, if a little canned. Reminding people that McCain wanted to reform Fannie/Freddie. Needs to hold Dems accountable on this, but she focuses on “bipartisan” efforts and reminds us about McCain’s stupid campaign suspension.

Gwen Ifill makes me itch.

Joe Biden says he’s been bipartisan his whole career? Rubbish! Wants to respond to Palin. Reminds us that McCain once said the fundamentals of the economy are strong, something Obama said just this week. Palin responds saying that McCain was talking about American workforce. She’s dang good looking! Talks about being a “team of mavericks.” Blech. OOO! She’s slamming Obama for being partisan. I think she’s exceeding expectations, which isn’t hard, because most people expect her to be brain dead. Stop using the word “maverick.”

Ifill says no one answered the question. Tough, Gwen! this isn’t about you! Now she asks “who’s at fault in subprime mortgages?”

Palin blames predatory lenders. You’re a friggin’ dolt on this, lady. Getting cute about “hockey moms” and “Joe Sixpacks.” People who borrow too much money are digging their own graves, but Palin either doesn’t know or care.

Biden is saying Obama was a whistleblower on subprime mortgages. Really? I doubt it. Biden looks drugged. Saying McCain wants to radically deregulate. Blaming Wall Street for subprime. Keeps using the word “deregulate” as if it’s a dirty word. Talks about an imaginary friend named Joey. As he warms up, he’s going to get goofier.

Biden looks insufferable as Palin SLAMS him on taxes. Good stuff! She looks confident, poised, and solid. This might end up being the gamechanger the last debate wasn’t. Biden’s patronizing smiles while Palin speaks look really condescending.

Biden says McCain raised taxes 477 times and says that Palin didn’t answer question about deregulation. “Letting Wall Street run wild.” Palin refuses to answer Biden’s question and slams him on taxes. Good for you, Sarah! Play to your strengths. This is going to drive both Biden and Ifill nuts. Ifill cuts her off as she’s on a roll.

Ifill asks about Biden’s tax increases and “class warfare.” Ifill says taxing health benefits will throw “5 million people into being uninsured.”

Biden champions “fairness.” I HATE fairness! Saying people aren’t getting tax breaks, ignoring the fact that the people he’s talking about DON’T PAY INCOME TAXES! What a freakin’ jackass! Tax cuts go to people WHO PAY TAXES!!! And then he cites Ronald Reagan. Jackball.

AAAAH! Palin cites the fact that Biden’s slamming small business! Why isn’t SHE at the top of the ticket? SLAMS him for saying paying high taxes is patriotism. Says government is the problem, not the solution. I’m a Palin fan again. Ifill moans that Palin isn’t “defending” McCain’s health care plan. Yet Palin’s slamming it out of the park. Demolishes Obama’s universal health care plan. Ifill tries to cut her off, because she makes sense.

Biden says “I don’t know where to start.” Gets all small towny. Goes back to fairness. Biden says small business owners won’t get tax increases, ignoring the fact that S corporations and sole proprietors will get double taxed and reamed by Obama’s hikes. Says 20 million people will be dropped. Gets a laugh on dumb Bridge to Nowhere non sequitor.

Ifill re-asks a bad Lehrer question. Biden says we’ve got to forego tax cuts and plays class welfare again. Beats up on corporations, ignoring the economic disincentive of huge corporate income tax.

Palin makes oblique reference to Obama’s “cling to guns and religion” thing. Palin shifts back to her strengths, talking about energy. Cites her record fighting oil companies. Biden smiles with patronizing smarm. I hope Palin completely ignores Ifill and Biden.

Ifill re-asks the question, and Palin says McCain will keep all his promises.

Biden defends Obama’s vote on an energy bill. Biden’s explaining, so he’s losing. Keeps saying McCain’s doing nothing but cut taxes for Exxon Mobil. Biden misrepresents Palin’s position, saying it was a “windfall profits tax” and won’t it be nice when Obama does the same thing.

Ifill asks about the tightening of bankruptcy laws, and Palin goes back to Fannie and Freddie. Blaming predatory lenders again. Says McCain warned everybody. Whoop de freaking doo.

Now Biden is being forced to admit that he and Obama voted differently on this. He tries to pretend that Obama sounded a warning try. Quotes McCain and then says he’s paraphrasing. What? He says principle payments should be deductible alongside interest?

Biden smiles like a leering Hefnerite. Palin lurches back to energy, just bypassing the question altogether. It works, though, because she knows what she’s talking about, and she’s very engaging when she’s on firm ground. Oops. Says we’re not giving oil company tax breaks. Biden’s going to slaughter her on this.

Ifill asks about climate change. Blech. Palin is answering it right – she doesn’t dismiss it entirely, but attributes it mostly to “cyclical changes.” Talks about her climate change sub cabinet. Goes back to energy independence. She doesn’t sound loony, but since I’m loony on this issue, I’m slightly disappointed.

Biden says it’s man made. “Clearly man made.” Arrogant twit. “If you don’t understand what the cause is, you can’t come up with the solution.” Bite me, Biden. Why hasn’t the globe warmed since ’98, chump? Goes back to China’s coal-fired plants and saying we should invest in clean coal, contradicting his statement on the stump.

Palin says “the chant its ‘drill, baby, drill.'” Just called him Senator O’Biden. Slamming Biden on energy production! Slam him, baby, slam him! Just said “nukular.” Reminds people of Biden’s comment on the stump.

Biden says the comment was out of context, which is wrong. Keeps coming back to McCain’s voting against alternative energy.

Ifill asks about same sex benefits and granting them. Biden says he supports it. Biden practically endorses gay marriage. Thinks same sex couples hospital visitation rights are written in the Constitution? What? He cites a bunch of rights he thinks are in the Constitution that aren’t mentioned in the Constitution.

Palin defends traditional marriage, sort of, but then claims to be “tolerant.” Weak, weak answer. Gets back to traditional marriage at the end, though.

Biden says he flatly doesn’t support gay marriage and then supports gay marriage. Palin sort of agrees but sounds awkward and Ifill gets a laugh with a mocking “you agree” statement.

Ifill asks about Iraq. Palin defends the surge and calls Petraeus a “great American hero.” Says Obama voted against funding troops, and then points out that Biden slammed Obama on that at the time! COOL! Wants more troops in Afghanistan. I think people watching her have to be impressed.

Biden says “with all due respect, I didn’t hear a plan.” Stalliondo just ran into the room butt naked and said “watch me.” He wants to know what I’m watching. Can’t hear Biden’s weaselly answer. Biden’s hair plugs look pretty good in the front.

Palin says “your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq.” She’s back to the surge. “We’ll know when we’ve won in Iraq when the Iraqi government can govern its own people.” Stalliondo slapping his bum in front of the TV. Palin points out that Biden once said he’d run with McCain and that Obama isn’t ready to be C in C. Biden clearly uncomfortable. She’s winning this hands down.

Biden says “John McCain voted to cut off funding for the troops.” Says it again. He’s going to have to back that up. Links McCain to Dick Cheney and says John McCain has been dead wrong on the war, ignoring that Biden voted for it, too.

Ifill wants to know if Pakistan or Iran is a bigger threat, a softball to Biden who cites his longstanding record of Pakistan fearmongering. Says Iran isn’t close to getting a weapon. Says an attack from the homeland will come from al Qaeda planning in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Except there hasn’t been an attack, because this is the one thing Bush has done right.

Mrs. Cornell surfaces and wants me to put Stalliondo to bed. Palin seems like she’s looking at notes. Says “nukular” twice. Leaving to get Stalliondo in the bathtub. Palin calls Ahmidinijad “not sane or stable.”

Been gone. Got back to hear that McCain won’t meet with the President of SPAAAINN! Biden looks pompous.

Palin touts a two-state solution. Supports Israel. I’m now being drafted to fix a drawer. Leaving again.

Fixed the drawer. Biden hasn’t heard how McCain will be different from George BUSH’S! Says Bush’s name 500 times in a row.

Ifill asks what should be the trigger for nuclear weapons use. Palin dodges, says we should make sure that “nukular” weapons are never used. Goes back to Afghanistan – says Bush Administration policies won’t be McCain policies. Slams Obama for saying we’re “bombing villages.”

Biden says “surge principles in Iraq will not work in Afghanistan.” Isn’t that what Obama has been touting, Senator? Stalliondo says he doesn’t like this movie. Biden cites McCain’s opposition to a bunch of treaties. Tells a fairy tale about a piece of legislation with Richard Lugar.

Palin slams back on surge principles – sounds bright on Afghanistan. Biden did a Gore sigh. Biden staring him down as she schools him on surge in Afghanistan. Biden caught off guard and fumbles a bit. Goes back to slamming McCain. Now cites Obama’s call for more troops, which should contradict his point about an Afghanistan surge. Taking a break to rinse Stalliondo’s hair.

Hair rinsed. Biden talking Darfur and Bosnia. Claiming credit for saving tens of thousands of lives like an arrogant doof. Says he’s been in Chad.

Palin cites her outsider status and points out Biden voted for the war and supported McCain’s strategies until he became veep pick. Palin agrees with Biden on Darfur. Phone is ringing. Phone is for oldest daughter Cleta.

Biden now talking about genocide being bad. Biden says he never supported McCain’s strategy, claims it was Cheney’s strategy. Invites people to go to I won’t. Biden says McCain’s strategy has been wrong from the beginning.

Palin coquettishly calls him a liar, puts in a media dig. Says McCain “knows what evil is.” Says McCain knows how to win a war.

Ifill asks how these guys would be different from the guy on the top of the ticket if someone died.

Biden points out that Obama dying would be bad. Bold! Predictably goes back into standard stump speech and doesn’t point out a difference. Standard talking points about engaging allies and rejecting Bush Doctrine, etc. Hope Palin doesn’t try to go there. Biden talks about the “biggest ticket item,” but then doesn’t say what said item is.

Palin answers cutely. I must go put Stalliondo in pajamas.

Stalliondo calls me “big and strong” and strikes a bodybuilder pose.

Palin turns on the cute. “Say it ain’t so, Joe, doggone it!” A bit cloying, lady. Palin says teachers need to be paid more. A BOLD position! Gives extra credit to third graders. Gets a laugh. Rips No Child Left Behind.

Ifill embarrasses both of them with their weak statements about veeps. Palin calls it a “lame attempt at a joke,” gets an audience laugh. Biden tries to follow up, gets crickets. Palin answers solidly. Biden says he’ll be in the room for every major decision, which highlights Barack’s inexperience.

Ifill tries a “gotcha” question about Palin’s answer about Constitutionality of Vice Presidential duties.

Biden calls Cheney the most dangerous veep in history, sounding like a Constitutional scholar, except he’s wrong and Palin’s right. Calls veep as part of legislative branch a “bizarre notion.”

Ifill says Palin lacks experience and that Biden lacks discipline.

Palin goes into stump speech mode, but does so cutely. Pours on the hockey mom crap, special needs, laying it on thick. A bit much, but she’s so dang sincere. She’ll survive this campaign even after McCain loses. And make no mistake, McCain’s gonna lose.

Stalliondo posing in front of the window. Doing jumping jacks.

Biden says he’s weakness is really his “excessive passion.” Too much information, bonehead. He’s so flipping arrogant! Goes into stump speech mode, too. Talks about being a single parent.

Mrs. Cornell wants me to put Stalliondo to bed. I tell her only ten minutes more. She doesn’t believe me.

Palin says maverick too many times. Cites McCain’s disloyalty to the GOP as a selling point. Says maverick again. Cites Lieberman’s endorsement. Says the word “tumultuous” without hurting herself.

Biden gets disgusted with the word maverick. Ties McCain to Bush on a laundry list of crap. Can we send Mary back to school next semester? Please.

Ifill asks if they’ve ever changed a position.

Biden cites his treachery on the Bork nomination and his responsibility for poisoning the well on judicial nominations. Weasel.

Palin wants to have vetoed more budgets and cut taxes more. Says she hasn’t changed her principles. Wants to bring both sides together. Blah blah blah.

Ifill wants to know ho they’ll change the tone.

Biden claims to be the king of all bipartisanship, which is a load. Tells some weird story about Jesse Helms. Says he’s never questioned people’s motives. Good answer at the end, actually.

Palin says she appoints people regardless of party affiliation. Why would you do that, lady? Geesh. She’s so flipping adorable! Goes stump speechy again.

Closing statements. This debate has gone by far more quickly than the last one. Palin begins by slamming the media. She looks intelligent and reasonable – she’d lost that in the Couric interviews. Says we’re blessed to be Americans. Quotes Reagan about freedom being one generation away from extinction. Good, strong statement. Palin does well.

Biden claims it was a pleasure to meet Palin. Biden uses his time to bash Bush. Looks sleepy – mentions Exxon again. Tells hokey stories. Tries to sound small towny, which doesn’t really work. Time for America to get up together. Are we down, Joe?

Bottom line: Palin wins easily, but is a veep debate a gamechanger? I doubt it.

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