Stallion Cornell

SorryI provided no fresh material yesterday. My wife has been gone at our ward girl’s camp, and it’s been up to me to pick up the slack. In addition, the subject matter from my previous post takes a bit more time to fully absorb. In keeping with my wife’s edict to tell funny stories, I’ve ... Read more

Thispost will focus strictly on clinical medical data, which some of you might find useful, particularly if you’re considering getting a prostate exam. This may have the unintended consequence of sending most of you screaming out into the night, so if you proceed beyond this point, viewer discretion is advised. Still here? You can’t say ... Read more

“It’snot fair!” This was the battle cry of young Cornelius Cornell, age 7, who was compelled to go to bed early because of his inability to live life without screeching. The wailing in question was spurred by restrictions on the use of the Wii, and how time with this device was being distributed inequitably, and ... Read more

Saturdaywas our church’s annual Family Fun Day, which is an extravagant neighborhood pseudo-carnival, complete with bounce houses, face painting, makeshift waterslides, and lots and lots of free food. The goal is to invite as many neighbors who are not of our faith to come and partake of the bounteous harvest of tacos and ice cream ... Read more

Ihave never had a fresh fish tell me what time it was. If that had happened, an locusts were present for the funeral, she might be all severe and treat me like the goose. Oh, to long for open fields of papaya, straining for the sun! Pinto beans have got nothing on me. Nothing. Only ... Read more

Iwalked out in the middle of a movie last night. Sadly, that’s a first for me. I cannot recall ever having done that in the past. And I’ve seen some pretty bad movies. I’ve seen some wretchedly offensive movies – Reservoir Dogs springs to mind. I would have walked out on that one, except I ... Read more

Letme take you back in time to the mid 1990s, when I was running a summer stock theatre in Jackson Hole. During the off-season, we donated the space to a local production company that had free reign of the place for next to nothing. They generally abused the privilege, damaged our equipment, and made life ... Read more

Onlytwo things are necessary for a perfect life: a force field and a ray gun. With a force field and a ray gun, you could secede from the union and set up a sovereign nation on your own personal estate, driving away tax collectors and forcing the government to send ambassadors to come and treat ... Read more

SoI’m a “little late with the blogpost today, Blogboy,” according to some anonymous commenter on yesterday’s post. One would think that savoring the lyrics to “Cannibal Eyes” would take a true arts connoisseur a week or two, but since no true arts connoisseurs read this blog, I’m not surprised that many of you lack the ... Read more

PaulMcCartney claims that the tune for “Yesterday” came to him in a dream. The lyrics didn’t arrive until later – the working title for the song was originally “Scrambled Eggs.” It began with the following couplet:

Scrambled Eggs Oh my baby, how I love your legs…

I’m betting it all goes downhill from there. Well, ... Read more