The query came up in a discussion with  New York Times reporter, and it was accompanied by a statement that Huck “did not know much” about the Mormons. Yet he asked a leading question designed to make Mormons look freaky, and he did so presuming that he already knew the answer. So if I had been there and said “no,” he would likely have accused me of being evasive. 

The reality is that he’s the one who’s warping the truth in order to smear my faith, and the twit knows damn well what he’s doing.

The “Jesus/Satan Brotherhood” question, as the spokesman for the LDS Church stated, “is usually raised by those who wish to smear the Mormon faith rather than clarify doctrine.”

Because we don’t believe Jesus and Satan are brothers. Jesus had no brothers. 

He was the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh.

The New Testament does imply that he had half-brothers – and probably sisters, too – who were children of both Mary and Joseph. One of those half-brothers, James, wrote an eponymous epistle that is part of the scriptural canon.

None of those brothers was Satan. And my Church has never said, implied, or believed otherwise.

“Wait a minute!” the Huckster might answer. “You believe that both Jesus and Satan lived in heaven before the creation of the Earth, and that both are the spirit children of God, don’t you? Deny that, you lying Mormon cultist!”

Ah, so the question is deeper than it appears, isn’t it, Hucky? Which belies your own smirky little lie that you don’t know much about my faith. Because to even ask your smarmy question, you have to have a basic understanding of the LDS doctrine of preexistence, and the idea that all of us are sons and daughters of God, at least as far as the soul is concerned. So in that sense, yes, Jesus and Satan are brothers, as much as I’m a brother of, say, Manuel Noriega. But if you were to ask me if Manuel were my brother, I’d say no, because I only have one brother – in the flesh. And when people ask me about my brother, I usually answer without thinking theologically or spiritually. Manuel never figures into the equation.

When you asked the question, you intended it to be heard one way even when you knew you were insinuating something else. It’s the same tactic that puds like you employ when you go around saying Mormons aren’t Christians. Using specific theological constructs – i.e. Mormons are not a part of the historical Christian tradition, or Mormons deny the Nicene Creed – you define Christian in an exclusive way that is lost on the casual listener, who hears “Mormons aren’t Christians” and concludes that we worship Joseph Smith or Brigham Young or a head of polygamous lettuce and not Jesus Christ.

Both “Christian” and, in this case, “brother,” have both a common definition and a theological one. When you slander us as “non-Christians” or “Jesus/Satan/Brother” types, you are thinking theologically while, at the same time, intending the hearer to associate the accusation with the common definition.

In other words, you are deliberately attempting to be misunderstood. Or, to put it more bluntly, you’re being dishonest.

You, Mr. Huckabee, are excrement. 

Interpret that how you will.