Giving “Christmas Shoes” the Boot

Imagine I’m standing in line and some filthy urchin sings the following song to me:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time
You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
– “Christmas Shoes” by NewSong

Here’s how I would answer.

Excuse me, son, but what is your problem?

If your mother is dying tonight, why the Sam Hill aren’t you at her bedside savoring your last moments together instead of standing in line at JC Penney buying shoes? And if she’s bedridden, what does she need your stupid shoes for? And do you really think when she kicks the bucket, Jesus is going to look down on her corpse and say “Whoa! Nice shoes!”

I’m not a very sentimental fellow.

More Mitt Mormon Stuff
Mind Lint

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.