I\u2019ve always maintained that \u201cI Am A Cow\u201d (1979) is the very first song I ever wrote, but that might not be accurate, as it was contemporary with the song \u201cChop Up Your Grandma,\u201d which had lyrics as follows:<\/p>\n
I\u2019m gonna chop up your grandma<\/em> Actually, the origin of \u201cChop Up Your Grandma\u201d is itself in question, as the initial two lines originated with Foodleking, and the reference to the ten servings provided by Grandma came, I believe, from My Esteemed Colleague. I\u2019m not sure if either party knew that I appropriated their pieces to compose the rest. Maybe I stole the whole thing. I doubt I can specifically recall who had a hand in what.\u00a0 Perhaps the squabble over royalties is the reason the song has never been recorded.<\/p>\n \u201cI Am A Cow\u201d has no such confusion, as it was composed in real time \u2013 that is to say, it\u2019s about a two-and-a-half minute song, and it took less time than that to actually put it together. It was a response to a challenge from a girl named Amber, who had written a song that had the lyrics \u201cstinky butt\u201d in it.<\/p>\n She dared me to do better.<\/p>\n Granted, \u201cstinky butt\u201d sets the bar pretty high, but at that moment in the winter of 1979, I retired to the bathroom at Barnsdall Gallery Theatre for a brief moment of urination and\/or composition. The result?\u201d I Am A Cow. \u201c<\/p>\n My Esteemed Colleague participated in the composition, too, and, perhaps, he was even in the bathroom at the same time.\u00a0 (Coincidence? YES!) I believe he was the one who came up with the \u201cDoo doo doo doo\u201d refrain, and, given the geography of the song\u2019s creation, you can\u2019t really blame him.<\/p>\n Behold the lyrics:<\/p>\n FIRST VERSE: I am a cow<\/em> SECOND VERSE: I am a cow<\/em> BRIDGE: When you\u2019re a cow<\/em> THIRD VERSE: I am a cow<\/em> The song, unlike the snippet of punk rock parody that is \u201cChop Up Your Grandma,\u201d is a fully realized song with a classic AABA structure and a melodic bridge. \u00a0It\u2018s a simple melody that has held up well over time. It\u2019s unpretentious and profound, especially if you\u2019re a cow.<\/p>\n The bit that still rankles me is that last line about \u201cHow now, green cow.\u201d I thought, at age 11, that changing \u201cHow now, brown cow\u201d to \u201cHow now, green cow\u201d was funny, because, you know, the cow was green.\u00a0 It no longer strikes me as funny, but I refuse to change it for sentimental reasons.<\/p>\n The recording of \u201cI Am A Cow\u201d took place sometime in 2005, when I was fiddling around with this new MBox that my wife gave me for Christmas. That\u2019s my son Corbin, then age 4, giggling in the background.<\/p>\n Take a listen… <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I\u2019vealways maintained that \u201cI Am A Cow\u201d (1979) is the very first song I ever wrote, but that might not be accurate, as it was contemporary with the song \u201cChop Up Your Grandma,\u201d which had lyrics as follows:I\u2019m gonna chop up your grandma<\/em>Da-na-na-na-na<\/em>I\u2019m gonna put her in a microwave oven<\/em>I\u2019m going <\/em> ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nDa-na-na-na-na<\/em>
\nI\u2019m gonna put her in a microwave oven<\/em>
\nI\u2019m going to serve her up as a SOU-ffl\u00e9<\/em>
\nI\u2019m going to put her on the menu for ten people<\/em>
\nShe\u2019s gonna be today\u2019s special<\/em>
\nDa-na-na-na-na<\/em>
\n[Spoken:]\u00a0 Today\u2019s special \u2013 new Grandma Stew. Just liked Grandma used to make.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em><\/p>\n
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\n <\/em><\/p>\n
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nYou don\u2019t meow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nYou don\u2019t bow-wow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nYou moo, like a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\n <\/em><\/p>\n
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nI am a cow<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\nHow now\u2026<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em>
\n\u2026green cow!<\/em>
\n(Doo doo doo doo – doo doo doo doo)<\/em><\/p>\n