I feel very sorry for Senator Craig. His career is over and his reputation is shot, not necessarily because of what he did but, rather, what he\u2019s doing now. His revisionist explanations of the events in question are more than pathetic. He attributes his footsie with the guy in the stall next to him to his \u201cwide stance\u201d as he takes a dump? Please. For under-the-stall foot contact to occur naturally, Craig would have to poop with his legs at close to a 180-degree angle. Women who give birth don\u2019t have that wide a stance.<\/p>\n
Still, I should probably be grateful. Prior to the events of this past week, if I had wanted to solicit anonymous gay sex in a public restroom, I would have been at a complete loss as to how to do it. Now, thanks to Larry Craig, I\u2019ve learned far more than I ever wanted to know on the subject.<\/p>\n
Which raises the question: how did Senator Craig learn all this?<\/p>\n
Think about it. These aren\u2019t skills you just pick up at a seminar somewhere, especially when you\u2019re a public figure who has to lie to those closest to you to keep your secret tightly under wraps. Yet Craig was quite accomplished at the signals necessary to get what he wanted, which suggests he\u2019s probably had plenty of practice. Never mind why he did it. How did he know what to do?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m a well-educated guy with a Master\u2019s degree, but the longer I live, the stupider I feel. Even in the realms of heterosexual, male\/female interaction, I\u2019ve made an utter fool of myself more times than I can count. I\u2019m not sure if I ever made the right moves, or if I even know what the right moves are. My wife would have to tell you whether or not I\u2019ve learned anything over the years. (And if it\u2019s all the same to you, I\u2019d rather you didn\u2019t ask her.)<\/p>\n
This problem extends to areas well beyond romantic relationships. For instance, I don\u2019t think I could become a heroin addict even if I wanted to. Where would I go to find heroin in the Salt Lake City area? How much would it cost? How could I get the stuff and avoid arrest? And once I got it, how would I go about injecting it into my veins? There are clearly people who do this over a long period of time, but I have no idea where they get their information. I doubt Google would be much help.<\/p>\n
Now I admit that this is just idle curiosity. All things considered, I\u2019d rather not have gay sex or become a heroin addict. But I\u2019d venture that almost 90% of everything I do on a daily basis wasn\u2019t taught to me in a classroom setting. I\u2019ve ruined two ceilings by \u201cfixing\u201d toilets directly above them. I\u2019ve destroyed computers, clothing, furniture, musical instruments, lawns, cars, air conditioners, and credit ratings because of my woeful ignorance and complete lack of mechanical skills. Maybe if they taught me how to mow a lawn in high school, I wouldn\u2019t run over so many sprinkler heads. Maybe I should have taken auto shop instead of trigonometry.<\/p>\n
Except I don\u2019t remember any trigonometry, so it\u2019s pretty much a wash.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Ifeel very sorry for Senator Craig. His career is over and his reputation is shot, not necessarily because of what he did but, rather, what he\u2019s doing now. His revisionist explanations of the events in question are more than pathetic. He attributes his footsie with the guy in the stall next to him to his ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=505"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4973,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505\/revisions\/4973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}