{"id":440,"date":"2007-11-07T15:55:00","date_gmt":"2007-11-07T15:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stallioncornell.wordpress.com\/2007\/11\/07\/the-five-best-movies-youve-never-seen"},"modified":"2026-07-01T13:25:50","modified_gmt":"2026-07-01T19:25:50","slug":"the-five-best-movies-youve-never-seen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/the-five-best-movies-youve-never-seen\/","title":{"rendered":"The Five Best Movies You’ve Never Seen"},"content":{"rendered":"

With the writer\u2019s strike damming up the floodgates of new creative material, the time may come when we may actually be forced to do<\/span> something instead of watch<\/span> something. If you\u2019re not willing to go cold turkey, I thought I\u2019d recommend some of my favorite movies, which I\u2019m betting many of you have never seen. (I was going to talk vouchers, but that would bore you, wouldn\u2019t it? Philistines!)<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve watched a lot of crap in my time. Much of it was cinematic junk food, but a good chunk of it was \u201cimportant\u201d filmmaking – obscure, independent, pretentious bilge that I had to \u201cappreciate\u201d in order to maintain my reputation as an artiste. Now that I\u2019m old and fat, I don\u2019t pretend to like movies I don\u2019t like. These aren’t artsy-fartsy flicks – these five movies are mainstream, studio releases that, for some reason, never quite caught on. If you haven\u2019t seen them, check \u2018em out.<\/p>\n

#5) QUICK CHANGE<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The plot centers around Bill Murray\u2019s daring robbery of a large Manhattan bank in broad daylight, which involves Murray dressing up as a clown and taking a bunch of hostages. The first three hostages he releases are Randy Quaid and Geena Davis, his two accomplices, and Murray himself, who has shed his clown makeup and is all but unrecognizable as the gunman. Together, the three of them stroll out of the bank with a total of a million dollars strapped to their backs.<\/p>\n

To date, I consider this the perfect blueprint of how to rob a bank.<\/p>\n

The cast is note perfect, especially Jason Robards as the crusty cop close to retirement who hunts Murray down. It also has great cameos from Phil Hartman and Tony Shalhoub. Watch for the sequence where Murray is waiting behind a lady at a convenience store \u2013 it may be the most exquisitely suspenseful moment ever committed to film.<\/p>\n

This is certainly one of Bill Murray\u2019s best movies, released about six years after Ghostbusters<\/span>. It\u2019s also the only movie Murray ever directed \u2013 or at least co-directed with Howard Franklin. It should have been a smash. I have no idea why it didn\u2019t set the box office on fire.<\/p>\n

#4) Kenneth Branagh\u2019s MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Shakespeare movies don\u2019t usually work well, because Shakespeare, for all his talent, wasn\u2019t much of a screenwriter. Film is a visual medium \u2013 people need to do<\/span> things, not just talk about them. In contrast, Shakespeare had no scenery, so he had to dress the stage with his words. His plays are filled with speeches that describe places and landscapes in the minutest detail. That\u2019s part of the reason why an unedited Shakespeare play can run for well over four hours.<\/p>\n

In this movie, Branagh slices and dices the original text without mercy. I\u2019d bet that only about a tenth of Shakespeare\u2019s original language survives into the screenplay. That\u2019s not to say Branagh doesn\u2019t have respect for his source material. Instead, he understands the differences between film and the stage, and he somehow manages to lift the essence of the play into the new medium essentially unaltered. It\u2019s an accomplishment equivalent to what Peter Jackson did with the unwieldy Lord of the Rings<\/span> books. In both cases, the adaptation is worthy of the original work.<\/p>\n

Of course, by saying that, I make this film sound hoity-toity, which it definitely is not. It\u2019s bawdy, silly, and funny as all crap. It moves<\/span>. You don\u2019t have to like Shakespeare to enjoy this, and it\u2019s not at all difficult for a modern audience to understand. The cast is phenomenal \u2013 Denzel Washington, Emma Thompson, Michael Keaton, Robert Sean Leonard, and Branagh himself \u2013 everyone except Keanu Reeves, who, for some reason, keeps getting cast in epic period pieces while still sounding like Ted \u201cTheodore\u201d Logan. Whoa.<\/p>\n

I think this film just got lost in the Branagh Shakespeare shuffle. Instead, his audacious debut in Henry V<\/span> usually gets a lot of attention, and deservedly so, as does his bloated, tedious Hamlet<\/span>, which makes all the self-important Shakespearean movie mistakes that Much Ado <\/span>scrupulously <\/span>avoids. It reverently uses all of the original Hamlet<\/span> script without a single edit, and it\u2019s a four-hour snoozefest. If you really want to see Hamlet<\/span> on film, the Mel Gibson movie isn\u2019t bad. But the Much Ado<\/span> movie is much, much better.<\/p>\n

#3) THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS<\/span><\/div>\n


<\/span>\"\"<\/a>Steve Martin has been a fixture in the mainstream movie firmament for so long that it\u2019s easy to forget that at the beginning of his film career, he was a box office disaster four times in a row. After the starmaking success of his film debut in The Jerk<\/span>, Martin made a series of really weird movies. There was the lip synch musical Pennies from Heaven<\/span>, the film noir parody Dead Men Don\u2019t Wear Plaid<\/span>, and a study in self flagellation called The Lonely Guy<\/span>.<\/p>\n

And then there was The Man With Two Brains. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is certainly one of the strangest movies ever released by a major studio. It\u2019s filled with glorious non sequiters, from Martin\u2019s character name \u2013 Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr \u2013 to the surreal \u201cmurmur\u201d sequence to its climactic Merv Griffin cameo. From beginning to end, it dares to be majestically odd. It presumably failed because it was written specifically to entertain me<\/span>, so it\u2019s no surprise that no one else gets it.<\/p>\n

#2) WAITING FOR GUFFMAN<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Also known as Spinal Tap for Theatre Geeks<\/span>, this Christopher Guest mockumentary is the first and best of the improv, pseudo-Tap ensemble films that followed. The same cast appears in Best In Show<\/span> and A Mighty Wind<\/span>, both of which are also pretty funny, and For Your Consideration<\/span>, which, in my considered opinion, blows.<\/p>\n

Yet Guffman<\/span> remains Guest\u2019s comedy gold standard, with laughs aplenty. Don\u2019t get me started on beans! You want me to strike this? There ain\u2019t no swimmin\u2019 in my show. My wife, Bonnie \u2013 I buy most of her clothes. Midnight at the Oasis! Backdraft \u2013 the Musical! Gather \u2018round, for I have news! Working! Working! Never stopping, never sleeping! Working! Making! Some for selling, some for keeping!<\/p>\n

If none of those lines made you laugh, then you need to see this movie. Trust me, they will.<\/p>\n

It also has a hysterical soundtrack, written by Guest and his Spinal Tap<\/span> compadres. You get all this and some My Dinner with Andre<\/span> action figures and a Remains of the Day<\/span> lunchbox besides! Only Spinal Tap<\/span> is a funnier Guest comedy, but I don\u2019t need to recommend that one, because you\u2019ve already seen it.<\/p>\n

#1) SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>This is at the top of my list of the best movies you\u2019ve never seen, but it\u2019s also very close to the top of my list of best movies, period. (So is Foodleking\u2019s choice of Chariots of Fire<\/span>, but, again, you\u2019ve seen that one, so it doesn\u2019t make this list.)<\/p>\n

This is a sweet, gentle movie that explores the inherent tension between excellence and decency. Can you be really, really good at something and still be a good person? It poses this dilemma without being remotely preachy, and the lesson comes against the unlikeliest of backdrops \u2013 the world of children\u2019s competitive chess tournaments. That sounds excruciatingly boring, yet it never is. I know next to nothing about chess, but this movie managed to keep me enthralled. Along with everything else, it\u2019s a classic Rocky-style sports movie with a minimum of schmaltz. It\u2019s heartfelt without being sentimental, which is something that only a handful of movies has ever achieved.<\/p>\n

Great performances from a great cast \u2013 Joe Mantegna, Joan Allen, Laurence Fishburne, and a transcendent Ben Kingsley in his finest role. Yes, you heard me. That includes Gandhi<\/span>. (Although I think the Gandhi<\/span> movie was overrated, but that\u2019s a story for another day.) This movie also boasts something exceptionally rare in a Hollywood film \u2013 credible children\u2019s performances. Young Max Pomeranc, as child chess prodigy Josh Waitzkin, could not be any further removed from Macaulay Culkin. That\u2019s one of the main reasons this movie works so well.<\/p>\n

And, for those of you who go in for this sort of thing, it\u2019s probably the most beautifully photographed movie I\u2019ve ever seen. You don\u2019t have to know anything about cinematography to recognize just how visually brilliant this picture is.<\/p>\n

I first saw this movie before I became a father. Now, over a decade and five children later, the father-son relationship at the center of this movie is far more poignant to me than it was when I first saw the film.<\/p>\n

If you haven\u2019t seen it, put this at the top of your Netflix queue. Or, better yet, go buy it. You\u2019ll want to watch it more than once. <\/p><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
________<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

POST-SCRIPT<\/span><\/p>\n

Reviewing this list, I discover I\u2019ve recommended three R-rated films to you. That actually helps explain why these movies failed, as R-rated movies are far more likely to underperform at the box office.<\/a> Since most Mormons \u2013 including me \u2013 tend to avoid R-rated movies as a rule, some further explanation is necessary.<\/p>\n

I remember an interview with Bill Murray about Quick Change<\/span>, where he complained that the movie should have gotten a PG-13 rating, since it has no sex and no real violence to speak of. The ratings board told him if he\u2019d just drop one of the F-words \u2013 I think the movie has three of them \u2013 he could drop the R. He debated whether or not to change Jason Robards\u2019 line \u201cIt\u2019s a f%$#ing car horn\u201d to \u201cit\u2019s a car horn,\u201d and decided the cleaner line wouldn\u2019t have been as funny. I think he was wrong \u2013 the line isn\u2019t that funny either way \u2013 and that extra F gave him the R which cost him a hit.<\/p>\n

Guffman<\/span> is a G-rated movie except for two scenes \u2013 one where Catherine O\u2019Hara gets drunk and starts talking about her husband\u2019s penis-size-reduction operation, which would push the rating up to a PG-13 at most \u2013 and then a ten-second audition scene where an unassuming local schlub tries out for the community play with a wildly profane excerpt from the movie Taxi Driver<\/span>, much to the horror of everyone watching. It\u2019s a very funny scene precisely because the profanity is so inappropriate to the situation. It\u2019s also an easy scene to skip. As soon as the guy announces his monologue, just press the fast forward for a couple of seconds and you\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n

The last time I saw The Man With Two Brains<\/span> was on television with all the naughty bits edited out. That\u2019s probably the best way to watch this movie. When I first saw it, I wasn\u2019t too concerned about morality in movies. Now that I\u2019m an old prude, I\u2019d likely be more offended. I honestly don\u2019t remember the stuff the TV version left out, and it\u2019s probably better that way.<\/p>\n

Both Much Ado About Nothing<\/span> and Searching for Bobby Fischer<\/span> are PG-rated movies, not even PG-13, yet Bobby Fischer is the more family friendly of the two. The thing people in Much Ado<\/span> are making much ado about is a suspicion of sexual infidelity, which turns out to be nothing. (Hence the title.) It contains the line \u201cShe knows the heat of a luxurious bed!\u201d which went clear over the heads of young\u2019uns and the MPAA ratings board.<\/p>\n

You can watch Searching for Bobby Fischer<\/span> with your priest, rabbi, or bishop without feeling remotely embarrassed.<\/p>\n

That is all.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Withthe writer\u2019s strike damming up the floodgates of new creative material, the time may come when we may actually be forced to do<\/span> something instead of watch<\/span> something. If you\u2019re not willing to go cold turkey, I thought I\u2019d recommend some of my favorite movies, which I\u2019m betting many of you have never seen. (I ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=440"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5236,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440\/revisions\/5236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}