![\"maxresdefault\"](\"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/maxresdefault-1024x576.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nI doubt this is the last I’ll have to say on the subject, but this is the last selection from my original reply, which I’ve been cutting up into bite-sized chunks over the course of the last three months.<\/p>\n
You can read the whole thing at once by clicking here<\/a>.<\/p>\n As always, Jeremy\u2019s original words are in green, the color of life. My words are in black, the color of darkness.<\/p>\n Conclusion:\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n Oh, thank heaven.<\/p>\n \u2028\u2028\u201cMormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph Smith. He was either a Prophet of God, divinely called, properly appointed and commissioned or he was one of the biggest frauds this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground. If Joseph was a deceiver, who willfully attempted to mislead people, then he should be exposed, his claims should be refuted, and his doctrines shown to be false…\u201d\u2028\u2028\u2013 President Joseph Fielding Smith\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n Amen and amen.<\/p>\n \u2028When I first discovered that Joseph Smith used a rock in a hat to translate the Book of Mormon,\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n Play it again, Sam.<\/p>\n \u2028\u2028that he was married to 11 other men’s wives,\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n All together now: Sealings, not marriages, no sex.<\/p>\n and that the Book of Abraham has absolutely nothing to do with the papyri or facsimiles…\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n How can the Book of Abraham have nothing to do with the facsimiles? They are<\/em> the Book of Abraham.<\/p>\n I went into a panic.\u00a0 I desperately needed answers and I needed them 3 hours ago.\u00a0 Among the first sources I looked to for answers were official Church sources such as Mormon.org and LDS.org.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t find them.\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n I then went to FairMormon and Neal A. Maxwell Institute (formerly FARMS).<\/span><\/p>\n FairMormon and these unofficial apologists have done more to destroy my testimony than any anti- Mormon source ever could.\u00a0 I found their version of Mormonism to be alien and foreign to the Chapel Mormonism that I grew up in attending Church, Seminary, reading Scriptures, General Conferences, EFY, mission, and BYU.\u00a0\u00a0 Their answers are not only contradictory to the scriptures and teachings I learned through\u00a0 correlated\u00a0 Mormonism\u2026they’re\u00a0 truly\u00a0 bizarre.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u00a0 was\u00a0 amazed\u00a0 to\u00a0 learn\u00a0 that,\u00a0 according\u00a0 to\u00a0 these\u00a0 unofficial\u00a0 apologists,\u00a0 translate\u00a0 doesn’t really\u00a0 mean translate, horses aren’t really horses (they’re tapirs), chariots aren\u2019t really chariots (since tapirs can\u2019t pull chariots without wheels), steel isn’t really steel, Hill Cumorah isn’t really in New York (it’s possibly in Mesoamerica), Lamanites aren’t really the principal ancestors of the Native\u00a0 American Indians, marriage isn’t really marriage (if they’re Joseph’s marriages? They’re just mostly non-sexual spiritual sealings),\u2028\u2028<\/span><\/p>\n Hey! There it is! My last \u201csealings, not marriages, no sex\u201d finally paid off!<\/p>\n Sorry. I\u2019ll let you conclude without further interruption, unless you mention the rock in the hat again.<\/p>\n and prophets aren’t really prophets\u00a0 (only when they\u2019re heretics teaching today\u2019s false\u00a0 doctrine).<\/span><\/p>\n Why is it that I had to first discover all of this \u2013 from the internet \u2013 at 31-years-old after 20 years of high activity in the Church? I wasn’t just a seat warmer at Church. I\u2019ve read the scriptures several times. I’ve read hundreds of “approved” Church books. I was an extremely dedicated missionary who voluntarily asked to stay longer in the mission field. I was very interested in and dedicated to the gospel.<\/span><\/p>\n How am I supposed to feel about learning about these disturbing facts at 31-years-old?\u00a0\u00a0 After making critical life decisions based on trust and faith that the Church was telling me the complete truth about its origins and history?\u00a0\u00a0 After many books, Seminary, EFY, Church history tour, mission, BYU,\u00a0 General\u00a0 Conferences,\u00a0 Scriptures,\u00a0 Ensigns,\u00a0 and\u00a0 regular\u00a0 Church\u00a0 attendance?<\/span><\/p>\n So, putting aside the absolute shock and feeling of betrayal in learning about all of this information that has been kept concealed and hidden from me by the Church my entire life, I am now expected to go back to the drawing board.\u00a0\u00a0 Somehow, I’m supposed to rebuild my testimony on new discovered information that is not only bizarre and alien to the Chapel Mormonism I had a testimony of; it\u2019s almost comical.<\/span><\/p>\n I’m now supposed to believe that Joseph has the credibility of translating ancient records when the Book of Abraham and the Kinderhook Plates destroy this claim?\u00a0 That Joseph has the character and integrity to take him at his word after seeing his deliberate deception in hiding and denying polygamy and polyandry for at least 10 years of his adult life?\u00a0 How he backdated and retrofitted the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood restoration events as if they were in the Book of Commandments all along?\u00a0 And I’m supposed to believe with a straight face that Joseph using a rock in a hat is totally legit?\u00a0 Despite this being the exact same method he used to con people out of their money during his treasure hunting days?\u00a0 Despite this ruining the official story of ancient prophets and Moroni investing all that time and effort into gold plates, which were not used because Joseph\u2019s face was stuffed in a hat?<\/span><\/p>\n (At least you didn\u2019t mention the rock. Sorry. Continue.)<\/p>\n I’m supposed to sweep under the rug the inconsistent and contradictory First Vision accounts and just believe anyway?\u00a0 I’m supposed to believe that these men who have been wrong about so many important things and who have not prophesied, seered, or revealed much in the last 169 or so years are to be sustained as “prophets, seers, and revelators”?<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m supposed to believe the scriptures have credibility after endorsing so much rampant immorality, violence, and despicable behavior?\u00a0 When it says that the earth is only 7,000 years old and that there was no death before then? Or that Heavenly Father is sitting on a throne with an erect penis when all evidence points to it really being the pagan Egyptian god of sex, Min? The \u201cmost correct book on earth\u201d Book of Mormon going through over 100,000 changes over the years? After\u00a0 going through so many revisions and still being incorrect? Noah\u2019s ark and the global flood are literal events? Tower of Babel is a literal event? The Book of Mormon containing 1769 King James Version edition translation errors and 1611 King James Version translators\u2019 italics while claiming to be an ancient record?<\/span><\/p>\n That there\u2019s actually a polygamous god who revealed a Warren Jeffs style revelation on polygamy that Joseph pointed to as a perverted license to secretly marry other living men\u2019s wives and teenage girls barely out of puberty?\u00a0 That this crazy god actually threatened Joseph\u2019s life with one of his angels with a sword if a newly married pregnant woman didn\u2019t agree to Joseph\u2019s marriage proposal?\u00a0 And like the part-time racist schizophrenic god, I\u2019m supposed to believe in a god who was against polygamy before he was for polygamy but decided in 1890 that he was again against it?<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m told to put these foundational problems on the shelf and wait until I die to get answers? To stop looking at the Church intellectually even though the \u201cglory of God is intelligence\u201d? Ignore and have faith anyway?<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m sorry, but faith is believing and hoping when there is little evidence for or against something. Delusion is believing when there is an abundance of evidence against something.\u00a0 To me, it\u2019s absolute insanity to bet my life, my precious time, my money, my heart, and my mind into an organization that has so many serious problematic challenges to its foundational truth claims.<\/span><\/p>\n There are just way too many problems.\u00a0 We\u2019re not just talking about one issue here.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about dozens of serious issues that undermine the very foundation of the LDS Church and its truth claims.<\/span><\/p>\n The past year was the worst year of my life.\u00a0 I experienced a betrayal, loss, and sadness unlike anything I\u2019ve ever known. \u201cDo what is right; let the consequence follow\u201d now holds a completely different meaning for me.\u00a0 I desperately searched for answers to all of the problems.\u00a0 To me, the answer eventually came but it was not what I expected\u2026 or hoped for.<\/span><\/p>\n As a child, it seemed so simple;<\/span> For the path is growing steeper,<\/span> As I crest the shadowed mountain,<\/span> \u2013 The Journey \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n Jeremy T. Runnells<\/span> <\/p>\n Well spoken, Jeremy. As of this writing, and as of this Internet posting three months later, you and I have never met, but I hope that changes at some point. I have tremendous respect for your integrity and honesty, even though it has led you outside the boundaries of the Church.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know if anything I\u2019ve written here will be remotely helpful or persuasive. It breaks my heart that you reached out for information and found nothing to strengthen your faith. But if one person reads this response and is helped the way I was when I read \u201cThe Truth About the Godmakers\u201d all those years ago, then this will have been time well spent.<\/p>\n I remember my own feeling of panic when I bumped into the weird Church that \u201cThe Godmakers\u201d was telling me was my own. I think, however, that I was coming at it from a different angle. The premise of \u201cThe Godmakers\u201d wasn\u2019t so much that it was all a fraud so much as that it was a Satanic deception, and that being a Mormon would consign to an eternal hell because I wasn\u2019t really a Christian.<\/p>\n I can remember on my mission coming across many evangelical Christians who condemned me to hell unless I was willing to accept Jesus into my life. Invariably, I would use the opportunity to, then and there, accept Jesus into my life. I would say whatever little prayer they had printed on their cards or flyers and then look them in the eye and say I agreed with every word in it. It still wasn\u2019t enough. I remember talking to one family at their doorstep, who said I needed to accept Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.<\/p>\n \u201cFair enough,\u201d I said. \u201cI cheerfully accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I recognize that I am helpless without Him, and that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. I invite him into my life, and I know He is the only way to heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n They stood there, flummoxed.<\/p>\n \u201cIs that it?\u201d I said. \u201cDo I have to do anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes, you do,\u201d the mother said. \u201cYou need to repent of your Mormon faith.\u201d<\/p>\n Yeah, okay.<\/p>\n See, that\u2019s the problem. These guys insist that all you have to do is accept Jesus, and, presto, you\u2019re saved. But if you say you accept Jesus and still want to hang with the Mormons, you didn\u2019t do it right. If you press people hard enough on this, they\u2019ll tell you haven\u2019t really accepted Jesus, you\u2019ve accepted some other Jesus. The Godmakers constantly refers to Jesus as being separate from the guy the Mormons worship, who is repeatedly identified as the \u201cMormon Jesus.\u201d The problem is that the Mormon Jesus is pretty much identical to the other Jesus \u2013 he was the Son of God, born to a virgin in Bethlehem; he grew up in Nazareth; he called twelve apostles and taught the Gospel, and then was betrayed and crucified on Calvary. Three days later, He rose from the dead, and He commissioned His apostles to teach his Gospel to all the world. Now, unless the Mormon Jesus did all this same stuff down the street or something, it\u2019s pretty hard to distinguish between the two.<\/p>\n The problem is that Mormons believe Jesus did more than this. The Book of Mormon tells of His visit to the Lost Tribes of Israel, and Joseph Smith and other modern prophets talk of seeing Jesus on several occasions. So what these Christians are saying is that Jesus only did what is chronicled in the New Testament, and only the Mormon Jesus did all this extra, weird stuff.<\/p>\n So, when you get right down to it, the way to hell isn\u2019t a lack of belief in Jesus. Apparently, the danger lies in believing too much about Jesus.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not quite sure what to do about this. I can go into almost any Christian church in the country, and they\u2019ll tell me things about Jesus that I will heartily agree with. I believe He did everything the Bible says He did. But I also believe Jesus is more than just words on a page. I don\u2019t worship the Bible; I worship Jesus, who is not bound like the pages of a book.<\/p>\n I can recall quite vividly one of the first experiences I had that built my own personal witness of Jesus Christ. I was in a pageant at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles called III Nephi, which dramatized Christ\u2019s visit to the New World after His resurrection. I was nine or ten years old, I think. I played one of the children who greets the Savior, and we were taught two songs to sing on that occasion \u2013 one was \u201cI Feel My Savior\u2019s Love,\u201d and the other was \u201cThe Love of God.\u201d I can recall feeling a very powerful witness that Jesus was real; that He loved me, and that He knew me by name. I can remember a testimony meeting right after the dress rehearsal, where one of the men stood up and said \u201cThat which you feel right now is the love of God.\u201d He was right. I knew he was telling the truth, just as surely and plainly as I knew I existed.<\/p>\n The song \u201cI Feel My Savior\u2019s Love\u201d was written for that pageant, and it has since become something of a staple among Mormon children. I\u2019ve heard it a billion times. But I hadn\u2019t heard the song \u201cThe Love of God\u201d since the day I last sang it on the stage of the Shrine. That is, until one Easter stake conference, when the stake choir sang it as a counterpoint to \u201cI Know that My Redeemer Lives.\u201d And instantly, I felt that same sweet assurance, the power of the Spirit reminding me of the certainty I learned so long ago.<\/p>\n That which I felt was the love of God.<\/p>\n Maybe that means I\u2019m damned for all eternity. Maybe the Mormon Jesus has deceived me. Maybe, maybe, maybe \u2013 but I really don\u2019t think so. There are some things that sink too deeply into your soul to deny them.<\/p>\n I recognize that much of what I believe is too foreign or alien to you, and I think the best point you make in your letter has to do with the idea of prophetic infallibility. We do a massive disservice to people by implying that the Church is perfect, that prophets never err, and that it\u2019s faithless to recognize that nobody gets their agency extracted, not even prophets.<\/p>\n Discipleship required us to be patient enough with an imperfect church that we were willing to endure error in order to sustain leaders who, unlike a perfect Christ, have weaknesses and blind spots and therefore actually need to be sustained.<\/p>\n And isn\u2019t that a better story anyway? Isn\u2019t it better to imagine a church that develops and grows and learns from its mistakes?<\/p>\n That\u2019s the story, incidentally, that the Lord has always expected us to tell. I don\u2019t think that people who stand up in a testimony meeting to praise this as \u201cthe only true church\u201d realize that they\u2019re misquoting the Lord, who never actually said that. What he did say was this was the only true and living<\/em> church. (See D&C 1:30)<\/p>\n Plenty of other churches have truth in them. Some have gobs of it. But this church is both true and living<\/em>. It is more than just correct principles; it is the living people doing everything in their power to apply them. And the Church, like all living things, develops, grows, and learns from its mistakes.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t say that to be critical. I love the Church. I love its doctrines, which provide a cohesive and glorious vision of the universe that has no equal in the other religions and philosophies of the world. But I also love the Church in practice, which has repeatedly come to my rescue, temporally and spiritually. \u2028\u2028I will always be grateful for a ward that rallied around my family when my oldest daughter injured her spinal cord in a skiing accident and was left partially paralyzed. They organized a massive, successful fundraiser that covered most of our more-than-significant medical expenses, and they assembled a team of thirty-or-so people who came into our house and scrubbed it from top to bottom. They also fixed broken cabinets, replaced damaged electrical wiring, and installed a new kitchen sink, three new toilets, an entire handicapped-accessible bathroom, and double railings on two stairwells and in our front and back entrances.<\/p>\n Their main focus, however, was completely redecorating my daughter\u2019s bedroom, which now includes an entirely new bedframe and bedding, new furniture, a fresh coat of paint, and a beautiful mural of a flowering tree just above her bed. And just to make sure that my other daughter didn\u2019t feel left out, they entirely redid her room just for good measure, installing a built-in new window seat at the base of her bed.<\/p>\n None of that has any bearing on whether the Book of Abraham is an accurate translation or not, but I think it\u2019s important not to lose sight of what the Church really is on a practical, day-to-day level. On the whole, it makes bad people good and good people better.<\/p>\n This church is also transformative because people have had a genuine, powerful experience with Jesus Christ, often through the Book of Mormon. I have seen, firsthand, what the power of Christ can do, and I have encountered God in this Church in an intimate, personal, and undeniable way. I don\u2019t think those kinds of spiritual experiences require me to abandon reason or stop asking questions, but they keep me from panicking the next time I hear an accusation against Joseph Smith or the Church that I\u2019ve never heard before.<\/p>\n I have found God in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I pray you find Him wherever your faith journey takes you.<\/p>\n Jim Bennett This wasn’t in my original reply, but I want to add a section from my father’s final sermon. In my last conversation with Dad prior to his stroke, he told me he had read my reply to you from beginning to end. It may, in fact, be the last thing of any length that he read in this lifetime. So, Jeremy, this was probably not your intent, but your letter gave me a precious and sacred bond with my father in the final days of his\u00a0life that I will always cherish. I cannot thank you enough for that.<\/p>\n The day before the stroke that took his life, Dad was engaged in a little “unofficial apologetics” of his own, and, at a fireside in Arlington, Virginia, he offered a vigorous defense of the Book of Mormon, addressing many of the issues you raised in your letter. But he concluded with a story from his own mission in Scotland, which I quote below:<\/p>\n When we called on Bill and Marian Proctor for the first meeting, we had left a Book of Mormon with Marian. We had gone tracting that morning, came back that night. He was reading it \u2013 Bill Proctor was reading the book by the fire, which I took as a good sign.<\/p>\n And then he stood up and came to me, and he said, \u201cLook, lads, I know why you\u2019re here, and you\u2019re wasting your time. I have no intention of joining your church. But this is an interesting book you have.\u00a0 So I\u2019ll tell you what let\u2019s do. I\u2019ll buy your book, and you go on your way, and we\u2019ll both save time. Agreed?\u201d<\/p>\n I said, \u201cAgreed. Yep. But as long as we\u2019re here\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n Okay, so as long as we\u2019re here, we sat down, and we gave them the first discussion of the Book of Mormon. And then we asked the magic question \u2013 when would be a good time for us to come back? And he gave us an appointment back, and there\u2019s much more to the story, but very powerfully, before I left Scotland \u2013 excuse me, I get dewy-eyed at the dedication of a parking lot \u2013 before I left Scotland, I said to him, \u201cWhen did you know? Bill, when did it happen [that you knew] the Book of Mormon was true?\u201d<\/p>\n And he said, \u201cOh, that first night.\u201d He said, \u201cThe Spirit was there overwhelmingly, telling me it was true.\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t need any internal or external validations, or any intellectual analysis. All he needed was an open heart and the presence of the Holy Ghost, and he knew. The Book of Mormon can survive any attack by any enemy of the Church because the Proctor example has been repeated millions of times, in every culture, in every country, all around the world. The Lord\u2019s wisdom in having Mormon do all that work, and having Moroni deliver those plates to Joseph Smith, and then the translation, is validated again and again. The Book of Mormon is, indeed, another witness of Jesus Christ, and a precious gift that God has given to warn us.<\/p>\n In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Andthus it is that this post shall conclude the serialized reproduction of my lengthy reply to \u201cLetter to a CES Director: Why I Lost My Testimony\u201d by Jeremy Runnells.
\n Every step was clearly marked.<\/span>
\n Priesthood, mission, sweetheart, temple;<\/span>
\n Bright with hope I soon embarked.<\/span>
\n But now I have become a man,<\/span>
\n And doubt the promise of the plan.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n And a slip could mean my death.<\/span>
\n Plunging upward, ever deeper,<\/span>
\n I can barely catch my breath.<\/span>
\n Oh, where within this untamed wild<\/span>
\n Is the star that led me as a child?<\/span><\/p>\n
\n I embrace the endless sky;<\/span>
\n The expanse of heaven’s fountain<\/span>
\n Now unfolds before my eye.<\/span>
\n A thousand stars shine on the land,<\/span>
\n The chart drafted by my own hand.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n cesletter@gmail.com<\/span>
\n www.cesletter.com<\/span><\/p>\n
\njim@stallioncornell.com
\nwww.stallioncornell.com<\/p>\n
\n![\"maxresdefault\"](\"http:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/maxresdefault-1024x576.jpg\")
<\/a>I doubt this is the last I'll have to say on the subject, but this is the last selection from my original reply, which I've been ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3994"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5171,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3994\/revisions\/5171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}