{"id":3631,"date":"2015-12-25T15:46:46","date_gmt":"2015-12-25T22:46:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/?p=3631"},"modified":"2015-12-25T15:49:53","modified_gmt":"2015-12-25T22:49:53","slug":"schlomo-the-christmas-whale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/schlomo-the-christmas-whale\/","title":{"rendered":"Schlomo the Christmas Whale"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Schlomo\"<\/a><\/p>\nhttps:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Schlomo.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

Christmas comes to everyone
\nIn homes or holes or caves
\nAnd sometimes Christmas even comes
\nTo those beneath the waves\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

Gather \u2018round, children \u2013 come hear from a fool
\nA truly remarkable tale
\nof the Jewish leviathan saving the yule
\nMeet Schlomo, the Christmas whale<\/p>\n

CHORUS:<\/strong>
\nSchlomo, Oh Schlomo, from heaven above<\/em>
\nWe know that below where we sail<\/em>
\nWas Schlomo, Dear Schlomo, wet mammal of love<\/em>
\nSchlomo the Christmas Whale<\/em><\/p>\n

Schlomo\u2019s poor Hanukah never went right
\nHe cried when the sharks and the squid
\nWould laugh as he tried his Menorah to light
\nYet, tragically, it never did<\/p>\n

Yet Schlomo\u2019s Menorah brought magical joy
\nEven without any flame
\nIt gave him the power to see a young boy
\nAnd Billy McGee was his name<\/p>\n

Billy McGee had a dog named Annette
\nAnnette was his one single friend
\nBut Billy was starving and willing to bet
\nTheir lives would undoubtedly end<\/p>\n

CHORUS:<\/strong>
\nSchlomo, Oh Schlomo, we can\u2019t get enough<\/em>
\nOf your sweet inspirational tale<\/em>
\nSchlomo, your blowhole exploding with love<\/em>
\nSchlomo the Christmas Whale<\/em><\/p>\n

At Christmas, poor Billy just wanted to sing
\nBut collapsed on his way to the choir
\nSchlomo was watching and saw the whole thing
\nOn his candles without any fire<\/p>\n

With Billy unconscious, there wasn\u2019t much time
\nSchlomo would have to act fast
\nHe beached himself willingly up in the slime
\nAn act that he knew was his last<\/p>\n

CHORUS:<\/strong>
\nSchlomo, Oh Schlomo, your life that you gave<\/em>
\nYour legend will never grow stale<\/em>
\nAnd nor will your carcass, nutritious and brave<\/em>
\nOh, Schlomo the Christmas Whale<\/em><\/p>\n

Annette staggered by and she took a big bite
\nOut of Schlomo \u2013 you might think it rude
\nBut Schlomo\u2019s pure sacrifice made it all right
\nBy offering his body as food<\/p>\n

To church Annette dragged her sick master along
\nWhere Billy awoke and he crooned
\nAnd everyone cried at his beautiful song
\nEven Muslims all wept at his tune<\/p>\n

One Muslim was Achmed, an angry young man
\nWho came to spread panic and fear
\nBut Billy\u2019s pure warbling altered his plan
\nAnd led him to shed a lone tear<\/p>\n

The tear trickled down Achmed\u2019s care-stricken face
\nAnd into explosives it dripped
\nIt shorted out triggers that he\u2019d had in place
\nTo blow up the chapel when tripped<\/p>\n

That Christmas when many were saved, it was true
\nWhen death and destruction would fail
\nAnd all from the love of an undersea Jew
\nDear Schlomo, the Christmas whale<\/p>\n

Schlomo, Oh Schlomo, from heaven above<\/em>
\nWe know that below where we sail<\/em>
\nWas Schlomo, Dear Schlomo, wet mammal of love<\/em>
\nSchlomo the Christmas Whale<\/em><\/p>\n

Schlomo, Oh Schlomo, your life that you gave
\nYour legend will never grow stale<\/em>
\nAnd nor will your carcass, nutritious and brave<\/em>
\nOh, Schlomo the Christmas Whale<\/em><\/p>\n

Schlomo, Oh Schlomo, we can\u2019t get enough<\/em>
\nOf your sweet inspirational tale<\/em>
\nSchlomo, your blowhole exploding with love<\/em>
\nSchlomo the Christmas Whale<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Merry Christmas!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"Schlomo\"Christmas comes to everyoneIn homes or holes or cavesAnd sometimes Christmas even comesTo those beneath the waves\u2026\u2026\u2026Gather \u2018round, children \u2013 come hear from a foolA truly remarkable taleof the Jewish leviathan saving the yuleMeet Schlomo, the Christmas whaleCHORUS:<\/strong>Schlomo, Oh Schlomo, from heaven above<\/em>We know that below where we sail<\/em>Was Schlomo, Dear <\/em> ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3631","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3631"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3653,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3631\/revisions\/3653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}