{"id":2864,"date":"2013-05-03T09:57:27","date_gmt":"2013-05-03T15:57:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/?p=2864"},"modified":"2026-07-01T12:39:03","modified_gmt":"2026-07-01T18:39:03","slug":"i-need-to-lose-weight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/i-need-to-lose-weight\/","title":{"rendered":"I Need to Lose Weight"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let me share with you my personal incentive to lose thirty pounds.<\/p>\n

I was part of a church performance called “A Night of Broadway,” where I was asked to sing “Mama Says,” a song from the stage musical “Footloose.” I had never heard it prior to being assigned to it, but it seemed goofy enough for my personal oeuvre. I asked if I could accompany myself on the guitar rather than perform with a prerecorded track. What I didn’t do is ask whether I could tell a joke at the beginning of my number – this was a one-night-only gig, and I figured there wasn’t much they could do to stop me.<\/p>\n

So here’s the joke:<\/p>\n

A cowboy walks into a saloon and says, “I’m lookin’ for an outlaw.”
\nThe saloon keeper says, “Well, what does he look like?”
\nCowboy says, “He was a guy wearing a paper hat, paper shirt, paper spurs, and rode in on a paper horse.”
\nThe saloon keeper says, “Man, I’d have remembered a guy like that. What’s he wanted for?”
\n(Pause for effect)
\n“Rustlin’.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I told that every night in Jackson Hole to warm up audiences at the Grand Teton Mainstage Theatre. It’s stupid, but you can’t help but laugh. I figured the other performers in this show were taking themselves way too seriously, and I wanted to break the ice.<\/p>\n

From what I could tell, it worked. I got a great response to my number, and I was quite proud of it. It had been quite some time since I stood in front of an audience and sang by myself. I thought I acquitted myself well.<\/p>\n

The director of the show set up a Facebook page to post pictures of the performance. She didn’t post everything at once, but the first photo of my performance showed up rather quickly.<\/p>\n

Here it is:<\/p>\n

\"285371_10151345525469075_313178636_n\"<\/a>I was quite pleased with this photo. I thought I looked good, despite the double chin. I liked the goofy face I was making, and I quickly made this my Facebook profile picture.<\/p>\n

The director soon started to post video of the performances, too. Being the Facebook addict I am, I couldn’t wait to post the video of the whole performance to show off my chops. I considered this evidence that, after all these years, I’ve still “got it.” I’m not sure what it is that I’ve got, or if it’s worth getting, but whatever I had gotten before, I still got.<\/p>\n

About two weeks ago, the video was posted. I’ve never shared it with anyone – until now.<\/p>\n

Here it is. I’m betting you’ll see why I wasn’t eager to have this on display for public consumption.<\/p>\n