Scandal! I\u2019m blogging on vacation! What in the world is wrong with me?<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sitting in the Port Angeles Super Eight Motel lobby, and it\u2019s their own dang fault, because they have a sign outside that says \u201cFree Wi-Fi.\u201d So here I am, scabbing off their Wi-Fi and hoping nobody kicks me out. I\u2019ve been here for over two hours now, and nobody has. Which is good, because I\u2019m thoroughly enjoying myself.<\/p>\n
I left my current headquarters, which is my in-law\u2019s home a mile or so down the road, because all the men in the family are golfing and the women and children are sitting\/screaming\/videogaming. I did some actual work, sent off some emails and invoices, and am now blogging because I don\u2019t really want to go back until I absolutely have to.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s been a fun vacation thus far. On the Fourth of July, we went to Safeco Field and watched a Mariners game in the center field bleachers, and it\u2019s probably the first professional baseball game I\u2019ve seen in over twenty years. I used to go to Dodgers Stadium with relative frequency, but those days are done. If you were at Safeco Field on the Fourth, it\u2019s a good bet that you actually saw me, because the camera caught me shaking my booty to the song \u201cShake Your Booty,\u201d and a massive laugh went up from the crowd as they broadcast my Mick Jagger-esque performance on the big screen. My eleven-year-old daughter Cleta was morbidly embarrassed, and rightfully so. As for me, I\u2019m still basking in the glory. This is the closest I will ever get to performing in a major sports arena, and I want to savor the moment.<\/p>\n
We spent an afternoon at the Olympic Game Farm, which involves driving your car through a herd of buffalo and letting their big, black, nasty tongues into the window of your car as you attempt to feed them stale bread without touching their tongues. It\u2019s not easy to do, and you absolutely have to wash your car afterwards. You also feed zebras, yaks, llamas, and bears \u2013 who are behind a fence. You can also see a rhino with a severely mutated horn and a bunch of caged lions and tigers who don\u2019t look happy to be there. It\u2019s a family tradition to go there, but the place seems a little bit sadder with every visit.<\/p>\n
(Close shave! As I was writing, a hotel clerk came up to me, and I was nervous that I was going to be booted out. Instead, she asked if I minded if she vacuumed in here, and I said no. Ha ha! I\u2019m still blogging! Suckers!)<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve been to the Dungeness Spit and to Olympic National Park, where the deer are so accustomed to eating off people\u2019s picnic tables that they\u2019ve lost all fear of humanity and need to be chased away. We went to a U-Fish Pond and caught several rainbow trout, which tasted just fine after they died at our hands. There\u2019s been much attention paid to the ancient Nintendo system that has dodge ball and Super Mario Brothers 3 cartridges \u2013 apparently, our Wii isn\u2019t quite as cool as the systems they had back in the late 80s.<\/p>\n
Summing up: Life is good. I\u2019m still alive, and I\u2019ll return writing in full force next week. Until then, read something else.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Scandal!I\u2019m blogging on vacation! What in the world is wrong with me? I\u2019m sitting in the Port Angeles Super Eight Motel lobby, and it\u2019s their own dang fault, because they have a sign outside that says \u201cFree Wi-Fi.\u201d So here I am, scabbing off their Wi-Fi and hoping nobody kicks me out. I\u2019ve been here ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=229"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4861,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/229\/revisions\/4861"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}