One of the first Mormon meetinghouses in Scotland was built in the city of Dundee in the mid-fifties and dedicated by then-church president David O. McKay. It was the largest LDS building I had seen when I served my mission there, and I would wager it\u2019s probably still the largest meetinghouse in the country. However, if it were magically transported across the ocean and relocated somewhere along the Wasatch Front, I doubt anyone would think it unusual in any way. It\u2019s about the size of most modern stake centers, and it looks exactly like every other Mormon church in America, complete with a full-size basketball court in the center of the building.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s only one problem. Most Scots have never seen a basketball, except in stories and legends.<\/p>\n
The only people who used the court were missionaries, 90%+ of whom were American. Locals used the court to play indoor football \u2013 sorry, \u201csoccer\u201d to us culturally unenlightened Yanks \u2013 and it was hard to even find a basketball on that side of the pond. More recent buildings have foregone the basketball standards and better reflect the preferences of the local populace.<\/p>\n
This is the most benign illustration I can think of that demonstrates the quirkiness of Mormon culture.<\/p>\n
As I prepared for my 40th birthday \u2013 yes, I\u2019m 40, had a nice dinner and played laser tag, big whoop \u2013 I had a chance to reconnect with some old friends to invite them to my shindig. One is now a Church employee, and this anonymous friend resents the fact that he\u2019s unable to comment about any peculiarities in Mormon life for fear of reprisal from his employer. My musings on temple marriage <\/a>would likely have gotten this pal of mine into hot water if he\u2019d posted it himself, and I think that\u2019s unfortunate. I think there\u2019s a lot of room for discussion and disagreement within the church, and I don\u2019t think it\u2019s faithless to join in the dialogue every once in awhile.<\/p>\n Where we get into trouble is when we confuse church doctrine<\/span> with church culture<\/span>. One is inspired; the other ain\u2019t necessarily so. For instance, if one were to publicly preach that Jesus is not the Christ or that baptism is for losers, perhaps they\u2019d be stepping out of bounds. But if you write a blog post that says building church basketball courts in Scotland is really, really stupid, I think you\u2019d be making a valid cultural point while standing on firm doctrinal ground.<\/p>\n Doctrine changes only by revelation. Church culture, on the other hand, is, over time, remarkably fluid. Don\u2019t believe me? Consider this, then: Brigham Young would have a very tough time getting tenure at today\u2019s Brigham Young University unless he shaved his beard. Indeed, David O. McKay once told his wife that he\u2019d never be called into high church leadership because he was incapable of growing facial hair. Nowadays, even a Richard L. Evans moustache would get you tossed out of the BYU Testing Center. And it\u2019s an unwritten rule that bishops, stake presidents, and other church leaders must be clean-shaven. The Holy Ghost, apparently, now finds it impossible to penetrate through a thick set of whiskers.<\/p>\n Why? Show me the doctrine on this, guys. It\u2019s just not there.<\/p>\n When I was at USC, our bishop stood up in priesthood meeting and told us all the necessity of attending all of our church meetings while wearing a white shirt. Thankfully, I was wearing a white shirt at the time, but only because my cool black shirt was lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of a clothes hamper. I wore a white shirt from that point forward out of respect for that bishop \u2013 who is a great man and a wonderful leader \u2013 but I have yet to receive a spiritual confirmation from heaven that God is displeased with colored textiles.<\/p>\n There are plenty of other rules that seem equally ridiculous. Never applaud in a chapel. Woodwinds are acceptable in church meetings, but brass instruments are not. Missionaries must never go swimming. The Motion Picture Association of America\u2019s ratings board has a mandate from heaven. Church attendees must never stray from their self-assigned pews. Visual aids must be banished from sacrament meeting and confined solely to General Conference. Saying \u201cyou\u201d instead of \u201cthee\u201d in prayers is almost as bad as swearing, but ending a sermon “in the name of Thy Son, Jesus Christ, Amen,\u201d is appropriate, even if the people you\u2019re speaking to don\u2019t have a son by that name. She who births the most kids wins. Using wheat bread for the sacrament may occasionally be necessary, but that doesn\u2019t make it right. And partaking of the sacrament with your left hand will make you go blind.<\/p>\n It all seems kind of silly to me.<\/p>\n I decided a long time ago, though, that none of this weirdness was enough to drive me away. I still wear a white shirt most of the time, and I\u2019m usually clean-shaven. I\u2019ve grown a beard on occasion, but I shave it off after a month or two, largely because I don\u2019t care enough about the issue to start a crusade over it. I don\u2019t really want to be \u201cThe Beard Guy,\u201d striking a blow for Mormon goatees everywhere. If it\u2019s not a big deal, then what\u2019s wrong with going with the flow? Bishops have enough problems as it is \u2013 they don\u2019t need a batch of beard crusaders making trouble.<\/p>\n My brother-in-law has a beard. He\u2019s evil, you know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Oneof the first Mormon meetinghouses in Scotland was built in the city of Dundee in the mid-fifties and dedicated by then-church president David O. McKay. It was the largest LDS building I had seen when I served my mission there, and I would wager it\u2019s probably still the largest meetinghouse in the country. However, if ... 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