<\/div>\n
\u201cYou, sir, are wrong. Dead<\/span> wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n Jeff Downey just laughed. \u201cI\u2019m not wrong. And, besides, even if I were, what are you going to do about it?\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cHmmmm.\u201d Walthius stroked his chin in mock thoughtfulness and jutted out his large lower lip. \u201cA fine question,\u201d he mused. Then he scrunched up his nose tightly, driving his black wire-rim glasses up to his forehead. \u00a0<\/div>\n
Jeff pretended to cough and said \u201cChicken\u201d at the same time. <\/div>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine, laugh all you want,\u201d Walthius said finally, with a vaguely Germanic accent. \u201cI\u2019m going to kill you.\u201d He stood up from his bench and leaned across the table so he could face Jeff nose-to-nose, his small, beady eyes close together in a threatening squint. \u00a0<\/div>\n
He then smiled toothlessly and said, \u201cI\u2019m going to kill you
very much<\/span>.\u201d<\/div>\n Jeff laughed so hard that milk came out of his nose. <\/div>\n
\u201cMilk just came out of your nose,\u201d observed Rahsaan Leonard from the far side of the lunch bench. He then went back to reading his newspaper. <\/div>\n
Jeff laughed again and dabbed at his face with his napkin, all the while surveying the landscape. Thankfully, no one else at the outdoor lunch tables of Topanga Canyon High School seemed to have noticed the milk-snorting incident. Jeff didn\u2019t find that particularly surprising. He had long ago accepted the fact that the center of gravity of the school\u2019s social universe was not to be found anywhere near his unlikely trio of friends. <\/div>\n
Sure, the attention of the gaggle of girls who were just then fluttering around starting quarterback Sam Cornell might be nice on occasion, but Jeff decided that when you\u2019re arguing with Ted Walthius about whether or not Superman could be killed by a nuclear explosion, geeky anonymity came in handy. <\/div>\n
\u201cHow could a nuclear blast even dent the guy?\u201d Jeff said. \u201cSuperman moves planets.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cBig deal,\u201d was Walthius\u2019s reply. \u201cNothing explodes when you move a planet.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cMoving planets is stupid,\u201d Rahsaan muttered. \u201cBut no one listens to me.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah, well,\u201d Jeff countered, not listening to Rahsaan, \u201che also saunas in the core of the sun, which is, like, what, a billion nuclear explosions a minute?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSure,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cBut remember, it\u2019s a yellow sun.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSo?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSo the Planet Krypton orbited a red sun.\u201d<\/div>\n
Jeff arched an eyebrow. \u201cAnd again I say – so?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSo I think my case speaks for itself.\u201d Walthius sucked the straw on his empty milk carton, making a gurgling noise and drawing the disapproving glare of a girl at the other table. He gave her a cutesy \u201chello\u201d wave, and she turned her back in disgust. \u00a0<\/div>\n
\u201cRahsaan, a little help here?\u201d Jeff said. <\/div>\n
\u201cSorry. I don\u2019t read the white man\u2019s comic books,\u201d said Rahsaan, not bothering to look up from the paper. \u201cSo unless you all start talking about the Incredible Hulk, I\u2019m out.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThe Hulk?\u201d Walthius sniffed. \u201cThe Hulk\u2019s a white man!\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cExcuse me?\u201d Rahsaan slammed down his paper loudly enough to cause a few heads to turn. \u201cA white man? I think not. The Hulk is a
green<\/span> man. Which makes him a brother.\u201d He nodded smartly, picked up his paper, snapped it open with a flourish and began to read again. He mumbled to himself something about a bridge collapsing yesterday, which both Jeff and Walthius ignored. <\/div>\n \u201cWhen he changes back to Bruce Banner he\u2019s white, though,\u201d Jeff said. \u201cI don\u2019t think it counts.\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Rahsaan, without moving his face, shot him a glare filled with mock scorn before returning to the front-page section. <\/div>\n
\u201cThe hard truth that you just don\u2019t want to face,\u201d Walthius continued, his attention focused back on Jeff, \u201cis that the fusion reactions of a red sun directly mimic the nuclear explosions of your average ICBM.\u201d<\/div>\n
This proved to be too much for Rahsaan, who pulled down his paper sharply to give him direct glaring access to Walthius. \u201cAnd just how would you know that?\u201d he said scornfully.<\/div>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s science, young man,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cYou\u2019re just a sophomore. Come back to me when you\u2019re older.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s stupid is what it is,\u201d Rahsaan responded, raising up the paper again.<\/div>\n
\u201cEven if you\u2019re right,\u201d Jeff said, humoring him, \u201cwhat difference does it make?\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius was aghast. \u201cWhat difference does it make? Is that what you\u2019re actually asking me? What
difference<\/span> does it make?\u201d<\/div>\n \u201cDid I stutter?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cOoh, tough guy,\u201d Rahsaan mumbled from behind his paper. <\/div>\n
\u201cIt makes ALL the DIFFERENCE in the world!\u201d Walthius was getting agitated. \u201cIt means that a nuclear blast would be a tiny red sun, which would effectively decimate a Kryptonian even more than a regular human being.\u201d<\/div>\n
Jeff laughed. \u201cDecimate more? Did you really say that?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t stutter, if that\u2019s what you mean.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cZing!\u201d Rahsaan said, still reading. <\/div>\n
\u201cHow can you decimate someone more than someone else? You\u2019re either decimated or not. No in-between.\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius considered this, and then shook his head. \u201cNo. Partial decimation is possible.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat a load!\u201d Jeff said.<\/div>\n
\u201cThe word refers to the ancient Roman wartime practice of killing every tenth man,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cLook it up.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSo you\u2019re saying a nuclear bomb would take out a tenth of Superman?\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius waved his hand dismissively. \u201cThe details don\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cIf you ask me,\u201d Rahsaan added, \u201cit depends on the tenth.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThe important thing is that he\u2019d be dead,\u201d Walthius explained. <\/div>\n
Jeff cocked his head slightly to the right. \u201cWhat? So Superman would be fully decimated, then?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWith a nuke?\u201d Walthius nodded. \u201cOh, sure. He\u2019d be dead by more than just a little bit.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cMostly dead,\u201d Rahsaan quipped. <\/div>\n
Jeff snorted.\u201cThat\u2019s like being a little bit pregnant!\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s like being a little bit dead,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cPregnancy and death are two different things.\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cNot according to my mom,\u201d said Rahsaan, who put down the paper long enough to take a bite out of his PB&J and shift backward on the bench and catch a glimpse of Sam \u201cStallion\u201d Cornell, the Topanga Titans quarterback, as he wandered in their direction.\u00a0<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHeads up,\u201d he said to Walthius as nonchalantly as possible. <\/div>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Walthius asked. <\/div>\n
\u201cCornell coming at you at 3:00.\u201d<\/div>\n
Before Walthius could respond, Stallion Cornell wordlessly smacked him in the back of the head, which forced him to cough up a bite of his cafeteria cheeseburger. Stallion just continued on, not even looking back to gloat. <\/div>\n
Rahsaan was fuming. \u201cI wish he\u2019d find another hobby,\u201d he said. <\/div>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s not so bad once you get to know him,\u201d Walthius winced while rubbing the point of impact.\u00a0<\/div>\n
Recognizing that this lunch hour had taken a turn for the worse, Jeff changed the subject. <\/div>\n
\u201cDid you finish your essay for Wilkoff\u2019s class?\u201d he asked. <\/div>\n
Walthius was undeterred. \u201cYou\u2019re changing the subject,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd why? I\u2019ll tell you why. Because you\u2019re scared.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cScared?\u201d Jeff chuckled. \u201cOf who? You?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cLooks that way.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWanna bet?\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius opened his mouth and shut it again. I win, Jeff thought as he took another bite of his sandwich. His eyes wandered over toward the beautiful ladies around the other table where Stallion had sat down to eat. <\/div>\n
Then, with reasoned calm, Walthius said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/div>\n
Jeff\u2019s eyes and ears were still focused on the girls. Those aren\u2019t just girls. They\u2019re actual cheerleaders. And they\u2019re talking to him the way real people talk. What would that be like?<\/div>\n
Maybe Vikki is over there, too, but I don\u2019t see her\u2026<\/div>\n
\u201cDid you hear me?\u201d Walthius asked. No response. He grabbed the sports section from a protesting Rahsaan, rolled it up and slapped Jeff in the face with it. \u201cHey! Doofus! I\u2019m talking to you!\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Jeff snapped, his face now focused on his friend but his mind still over at the girl\u2019s table. <\/div>\n
\u201cI said yes.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYes what?\u201d Jeff said, confused. <\/div>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d Walthius answered, \u201cI
want<\/span> to bet<\/span>.\u201d<\/div>\n \u201cOh, this is good. Good times,\u201d Rahsaan smirked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. <\/div>\n
\u201cYeah, well, I don\u2019t.\u201d Jeff said. He took another bite of his sandwich and went back to cheerleader gazing. <\/div>\n
Walthius\u2019s expression darkened. He then reached into his backpack, picked up a book and slammed it down on the table. <\/div>\n
Hard. <\/div>\n
It was loud enough that even Sam Cornell\u2019s table heard it. After the sudden noise, equally sudden silence fell on the outdoor lunchroom, and suddenly, much to Jeff\u2019s horror, Walthius was the only person speaking.<\/div>\n
\u201c
Crossover Classics<\/span>,\u201d he said, reading the book\u2019s title, his voice raised and unperturbed by the virtual spotlight. \u201cAll the great DC\/Marvel stories. Superman meets Spider-Man for the second time. And on page 74, he finds himself trapped in a nuclear reactor, which mimics the effects of the red sun of his home planet Krypton. Proof, sir, that Superman cannot survive a nuclear blast.\u201d<\/div>\n \u201cFine,\u201d Jeff mumbled. \u201cYou win.\u201d He pushed the book back to the other side of the table. <\/div>\n
\u201cEverything all right over there, Downey?\u201d Cornell shouted with the hint of a giggle in his voice. The cheerleaders were also stifling giggles. Jeff cringed. Giggling was not a good scene. <\/div>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re fine, Stallion,\u201d Rahsaan shouted back, his nose still buried in the paper. \u201cYou just go right on flirting.\u201d<\/div>\n
Sam\u2019s eyes narrowed and his ears turned red, either from embarrassment, anger, or a sick mixture of both. He glared at Rahsaan, who, in turn, smiled back a little too broadly. Jeff knew that if either he or Walthius had dared to use that hated nickname, they might have ended up with their head embedded in a brick wall. Fortunately, Rahsaan was only in 10th grade, and he stood out from the rest of the student body as the only African-American student in the entire white bread school. Not everybody liked him, but everyone knew him, and they\u2019d probably frown on any attempt by the biggest guy on campus to beat him senseless. <\/div>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re fine, everyone,\u201d Rahsaan announced after Sam\/Stallion had finally looked away. \u201cJust fine. Turns out Superman can get all blown up. Nothing to see here folks.\u201d Then, under his breath, he said to Jeff and Walthius, \u201cYou people are idiots.\u201d He got up, grabbed his paper, but then caught a glimpse of Walthius\u2019 book and did a double take. <\/div>\n
\u201cIs that the Hulk on there?\u201d he asked Walthius. <\/div>\n
\u201cYeah. He fights Batman.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHow does he fight Batman? I thought Batman was DC and Hulk was Marvel.\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cLook at the title, will ya?\u201d Walthius said. \u201cCrossover Classics. DC and Marvel together. Side by side. Rising above their corporate differences.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah. It\u2019s a beautiful thing,\u201d Jeff added, relieved that the worst was over and everyone was ignoring them again. \u00a0<\/div>\n
\u201cBatman against the Hulk? Ha! That would last about five seconds,\u201d Rahsaan said, grabbing the book and flipping through the pages. \u201cI mean, who is Batman? Can\u2019t fly. Can\u2019t run fast. No super strength. Just some rich dude in a rodent suit.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cBats aren\u2019t rodents,\u201d Jeff said. Then he furrowed his brow. \u201cOr are they? Maybe they are.\u201d<\/div>\n
Rahsaan rolled his eyes. <\/div>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t be so quick to dismiss Batman,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cAs the world\u2019s greatest detective, he has the resources and the skill to \u2013”<\/div>\n
\u201cCan I borrow this?\u201d Rahsaan interrupted. Before a startled Walthius could say no, Rahsaan said \u201cThanks,\u201d and, within seconds, he was halfway across campus and well out of earshot. <\/div>\n
\u201cNo one respects Batman the way they ought to,\u201d Walthius groused. \u201cThe movies help, but it\u2019s still that stupid TV series. I don\u2019t think the character will ever fully live it down.\u201d <\/div>\n
Now that the unwanted attention had fully dissipated, Jeff started to seethe. \u201cWhat is wrong with you?\u201d he whispered tightly. Walthius just shrugged. To Jeff, that was the last straw. This had to end \u2013 right here, right now. <\/div>\n
\u201cAll right,\u201d Jeff said, all business. \u201cSuperman. Nuclear explosions. Here\u2019s why you\u2019re full of it.\u201d
Walthius raised his other eyebrow.<\/div>\n
\u201cIn the first place,\u201d Jeff continued, the words pouring out of him with a geeky, fevered passion, \u201cThis was a crossover. That means it\u2019s out of direct continuity. So it doesn\u2019t affect Superman\u2019s official history. Plus, that story is, what \u2013 thirty years old? How many reboots have there been since then? You know as well as I do that every few years, they blow up the universe and start over to keep Superman from celebrating his 40th birthday. So, summing up, your material, sir, is outdated.\u201d He took in a deep breath and then said \u201cPut that in your pipe and smoke it.\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius said nothing for what seemed to Jeff like forever, and then a smile crept slowly across his face. \u201cYou passed,\u201d he said. He then reached into his wallet and slid a five-dollar bill across the table. <\/div>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThe bet,\u201d said Walthius. \u201cYou won.\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cWe didn\u2019t make a bet.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cI did.\u201d Walthius said. \u201cAt least, I wanted to. So in my mind, we did.\u201d <\/div>\n
Jeff eyed him warily, looked around again, and then quickly slipped the bill into his pocket. \u201cI earned this,\u201d he said, more to himself than to Walthius, who nodded in agreement. <\/div>\n
\u201cAnd don\u2019t worry,\u201d Walthius added. \u201cShe didn\u2019t see any of this.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cShe?\u201d Jeff said, a little too quickly. <\/div>\n
Walthius smirked. \u201cNow who\u2019s being the bonehead?\u201d <\/div>\n
Jeff tried to protest, but then rolled his eyes. \u201cYou\u2019re right. She wasn\u2019t there. I checked.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYeah, what a surprise,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cExcept she\u2019s not dating Stallion anymore. She\u2019s got some movie star boyfriend or something.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhatever,\u201d Jeff said, nonplussed. It didn\u2019t matter who she was dating. Jeff just knew it would never be him. <\/div>\n
The bell rang. Both boys started gathering everything in their backpacks for their next class. <\/div>\n
\u201cI dreamed about her again last night,\u201d Jeff said. <\/div>\n
\u201cAnother big surprise.\u201d He shoved the remainder of a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth and then started to walk toward the math building. <\/div>\n
Jeff frowned. \u201cHave I told you that before?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThe dream. You\u2019ve had it eight times by my count,\u201d Walthius said. They walked briskly to join the herd being shepherded into Mr. Barry\u2019s trigonometry class. \u201cYou got any plans for the weekend?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNot as such,\u201d Jeff said. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a
Planet of the Apes<\/span> marathon on Saturday.\u201d<\/div>\n Jeff winced. \u201cThe marching band will be playing at the big game Saturday.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYou mean tomorrow,\u201d Walthius corrected him. \u201cThe game\u2019s on Friday, bonehead.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cIt is?\u201d Jeff looked perplexed. \u201cI thought it was Saturday.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNope.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThen what\u2019s on Saturday?\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius sniffed. \u201cLike you don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHumor me and pretend that I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThe big dance. The homecoming dance.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cOh, yeah,\u201d Jeff mumbled. \u201cNo wonder I forgot.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNo date again?\u201d Walthius asked. <\/div>\n
\u201cLike you have one.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cAs a matter of fact,\u201d Walthius said, \u201cI do.\u201d<\/div>\n
Jeff was baffled. \u201cWith who?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNot who,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cWhat. The
Apes<\/span> marathon.\u201d<\/div>\n \u201cHmmph,\u201d Jeff said. \u201cTell Dr. Zaius to save the last dance for me.\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius furrowed his brow. \u201cIs that even legal?\u201d<\/div>\n
They walked inside the room. Jeff took his usual seat on the next-to-last row, although his lanky, spidery frame couldn\u2019t quite squeeze under the tiny desk. In a kinder world, thought Jeff, I would be a basketball player. Maybe if I weighed a few more pounds. He opened his backpack, pulled out a half-eaten Snickers bar and took a hefty bite. <\/div>\n
Walthius sat directly behind him, just as he had in every class they\u2019d had together since third grade. Mr. Barry, the decidedly rumpled teacher with a bowl haircut, was still seated behind his own desk. He was patiently listening to an exasperated Lucy Greene, who always wasted the first five minutes of every class trying to get a private lesson to make up for ten years of math lessons that she\u2019d failed to understand. The classroom was filled with the idle chatter of twenty-five students waiting for the lecture to begin, which gave Jeff enough time to look over where Vikki Dennis sat \u2013 two rows to the left, right up in front. Jeff had chosen this particular seat at the beginning of the year because it allowed him to stare at her for the entire hour without calling attention to the fact that he was staring at her for the entire hour. <\/div>\n
He had been infatuated with Vikki Dennis since the second grade, when she first moved to his neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley. Her mother and his mother were both on the P.T.A. board, which meant that the two kids traveled together in carpools on a regular basis, beginning with their first music lessons. Jeff, unlike Vikki, had continued his musical career and was now Topanga High School\u2019s First Chair French Horn, with Walthius right next to him as French Horn #2. This allowed Jeff to watch the cheerleaders \u2013 especially Vikki \u2013 during football games, which, as he thought about it, was the only social advantage that band membership provided him.<\/div>\n
It was different in the old days, when both Vikki and he shared the same piano teacher. Since Jeff\u2019s lesson was right after Vikki\u2019s, they each had to sit and wait through the other\u2019s session. Jeff figured he\u2019d fallen in love with Vikki sometime around the time she learned to play Beethoven\u2019s Fur Elise. He\u2019d probably been smitten before that, but even today, with Jeff now a senior in high school, the first few notes of that melody always transported him back under the hot sun on Mrs. Chisholm\u2019s patio, where he could see the little girl he wanted to marry tinkling the ivories on the other side of the sliding screen door. <\/div>\n
Yeah, well, that was then. This was now. And now Vikki Dennis was a tall, leggy homecoming queen way out of his league, so much so that he found it difficult to walk in a straight line if she was within a ten-yard radius. It was so much simpler to gaze at her from a distance, which is what he intended to do for the remainder of the hour. \u00a0<\/div>\n
Except she wasn\u2019t there. <\/div>\n
Jeff frowned slightly and leaned his head back. \u201cWalthius,\u201d he whispered.<\/div>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Walthius whispered back. <\/div>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the first time this year. She never misses class.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cI know that, too.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSo where is she?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThat I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s who?\u201d asked Charlotte Wasden, who was sitting in the chair directly to Jeff\u2019s right.
Jeff smiled sheepishly. \u201cNobody.\u201d Except he spoke simultaneously with Walthius, who said \u201cVikki Dennis.\u201d <\/div>\n
Jeff kicked him in the shins from under the desk. <\/div>\n
\u201cVikki?\u201d Charlotte said. \u201cIsn\u2019t she at homecoming practice?\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cPractice?\u201d Walthius snorted. \u201cWhat does she have to practice?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean, what?\u201d Charlotte answered, nonplussed. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s because they\u2019ve got that film crew coming over to film a piece of a horror movie tomorrow in the middle of the game?\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius looked confused. \u201cIs it or isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/div>\n
Charlotte looked like she was gagging. \u201cHel
lo<\/span>!\u201d she said, pouring all her disdain into the word\u2019s heavily emphasized second syllable. <\/div>\n Jeff sat up a little straighter. \u201cIs Vikki going to be in the movie, then?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cUmm, yeah!\u201d Charlotte said with impeccable San Fernando Valley sarcasm. \u201cHer boyfriend\u2019s dad is funding the movie, hel
lo<\/span>.\u201d<\/div>\n \u201cHello!\u201d said Walthius, with cheerful inappropriateness. Charlotte rolled her eyes and turned back toward the whiteboard. <\/div>\n
\u201cWow,\u201d Jeff muttered to Walthius. \u201cSo Vikki\u2019s going to be a movie star.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYou should be very happy for her,\u201d Walthius said. <\/div>\n
You\u2019re right, I should, Jeff thought. And I\u2019m not. Stardom would put her even further out of reach. <\/div>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s not going to be the star,\u201d sneered Charlotte, her back still turned. \u201cIt\u2019s a horror movie, hel
lo<\/span>.\u201d<\/div>\n \u201cHowdy!\u201d Walthius said, a bit too loudly. Charlotte huffed in disgust. <\/div>\n
\u201cIf she doesn\u2019t want to be greeted,\u201d Walthius said to Jeff, \u201cshe should stop using salutations.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat does it matter if it\u2019s a horror movie?\u201d Jeff whispered, unwilling to be distracted. <\/div>\n
Before Walthius could answer, Charlotte, who seemed to have amplified ears, turned to face him. <\/div>\n
\u201cUm, maybe you should, like, pay attention during the morning announcements! The whole cheerleading squad gets killed in it.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWow,\u201d Walthius said. \u201cMaybe if you were a cheerleader, they\u2019d kill you, too.\u201d<\/div>\n
Charlotte looked like she\u2019d swallowed a partially decomposed rat. \u201cI am a cheerleader. If I weren\u2019t a cheerleader, then I wouldn\u2019t be going to her boyfriend\u2019s fathers house tonight for the big kick-off party, now would I?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWould you?\u201d Walthius asked. <\/div>\n
Charlotte scrunched up her face as if she were sniffing at a pile of rotting beetles. <\/div>\n
\u201cYou know,\u201d Walthius said, \u201cYour limitless scorn seems to interfere with your capacity for communication.\u201d<\/div>\n
Charlotte sneered. \u201cYou\u2019re a geek,\u201d she said before turning around again. <\/div>\n
Walthius looked thoughtful. \u201cNow that, I understood.\u201d <\/div>\n
\u201cGood for you,\u201d said Jeff. <\/div>\n
Walthius, not willing to leave well enough alone, leaned forward and tapped Charlotte on the shoulder. When he had her attention, he spoke again.<\/div>\n
\u201cSo if you\u2019re a cheerleader,\u201d he said, \u201cwhy, then, are you not at the practice?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cUmmm, the whole homecoming court is having a rehearsal. And I\u2019m not a homecoming queen or princess, am I?\u201d <\/div>\n
Walthius shrugged. \u201cAre you?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat
ever<\/span>.\u201d She turned her back yet again. <\/div>\n Walthius looked at Jeff. \u201cWhy isn\u2019t she homecoming queen? Isn\u2019t she pretty enough?\u201d<\/div>\n
Jeff didn\u2019t answer, but he thought that given the fact that Walthius was only five foot four, covered with acne, and had strangely wavy hair reminiscent of a fiberglass fun house slide, he was in no position to comment on someone else\u2019s physical attractiveness. <\/div>\n
\u201cCharlotte,\u201d Walthius said, \u201cI just want you to know that I\u2019d vote for you. Twice, if I could. And I could, you know. There are ways\u2026\u201d He stroked his chin with an air of mystery.<\/div>\n
Charlotte just huffed again, but Jeff felt the need to apply another quick backward heel thrust directly into Walthius\u2019 shins. Walthius loudly howled in pain, which brought all other chatter in the room to a screeching halt. <\/div>\n
\u201cMr. Walthius? Are you all right?\u201d Mr. Barry had disposed of Lucy Greene and was now standing at the whiteboard and staring back at Walthius along with the rest of the class. <\/div>\n
\u201cOh, the pain! The pain!\u201d Walthius seemed to be enjoying the attention.<\/div>\n
\u201cAre you having a seizure, Mr. Walthius?\u201d<\/div>\n
Walthius stopped abruptly. \u201cCome on, Mr. Barry! You\u2019ve never seen
Lost in Space<\/span>?\u201d <\/div>\n Mr. Barry just stared at him blankly. <\/div>\n
\u201cThat was an homage to Dr. Smith,\u201d Jeff explained to a befuddled and increasingly contemptuous Charlotte Wasden, but loud enough for Mr. Barry to hear. <\/div>\n
\u201cMr. Downey, please be so kind as to tell your friend that if he doesn\u2019t want an homage to the dean\u2019s office, he should get out his textbook and stop disrupting my class.\u201d <\/div>\n
Jeff nodded, smiled, and opened his textbook. Walthius followed suit. Mr. Barry turned around and began writing on the board. <\/div>\n
\u201cWay to go, genius,\u201d Jeff whispered without moving his lips. <\/div>\n
\u201c\u2018Homage to the dean\u2019s office,\u2019\u201d Walthius whispered back. \u201cThat doesn\u2019t even make any sense.\u201d<\/div>\n
The hour descended into a mundane discussion about sines and cosines and logarithms and other stuff Jeff found intensely boring. Eventually, they broke up into groups to do an assignment that took Jeff and Walthius a third of the time it took everyone else. Left with about twenty minutes to spare, Walthius pulled out the latest copy of
Daredevil<\/span> and began to read. <\/div>\n \u201cYou want anything?\u201d Walthius asked, referencing his backpack\u2019s vast comic book library. <\/div>\n
Jeff shrugged. \u201cMaybe later,\u201d he said. He took off his eyeglasses and placed them on the desk in front of him. Then he put his elbows up on his desk and buried his face in his hands. Twenty minutes, he thought. Then he yawned. What am I going to do for twenty minutes? He let his eyes close and his mind wander, exploring the possibilities. <\/div>\n
Then he was burning his socks. He was shaving some mutt off the street. The street was filled with grunions, and only Jeff could smell them. He stood up, only to find himself on the football field facing Stallion Cornell and the rest of the Topanga Titans in their full helmets and uniforms. He was the only one on the opposing team. He hiked the ball to himself and ran far in the opposite direction, far enough to end up in mid-air above the school parking lot, running, flying, the clouds beneath his feet\u2026<\/div>\n
The scene shifted to more familiar surroundings. Again he was on top of the mountain where the sun always sets. He leapt into the air, soaring higher, higher, and still he could hear the muscular man with the black linen mask cackling at him, always floating ten feet above, and she was there with him, screaming, help me, won\u2019t someone help me\u2026<\/div>\n
Vikki. <\/div>\n
And so he flew higher and harder, until he was above them, and just as they almost reached him, the man in the mask grinned an evil grin, and then he dropped Vikki Dennis to plummet to earth, and the faster Jeff flew to catch her, the faster she fell, until she disappeared into the clouds, too far gone to see. <\/div>\n
No. Come back. I\u2019m coming. No.<\/div>\n
He flew faster, but she was beyond hope. Beyond reach. I\u2019m coming. I\u2019m not coming fast enough. <\/div>\n
No. She has to wait. I have to save her. <\/div>\n
No. <\/div>\n
No.<\/div>\n
\u201cNooooooooo!\u201d <\/div>\n
Everything stopped. <\/div>\n
\u201cProblem, Mr. Downey?\u201d <\/div>\n
Jeff\u2019s eyes flew open, and he found himself smack dab in the middle of reality, face to face with Mr. Barry and his bowl cut, and neither one of them seemed too happy about it. <\/div>\n
The class burst out laughing. Jeff\u2019s face flushed bright red. <\/div>\n
The laughter didn\u2019t stop as he grabbed his glasses and the hall pass and scurried out of the classroom. Usually, a student had to tell a teacher where he was going when he left the room, but everyone seemed to recognize that these were unusual circumstances. \u00a0<\/div>\n
\u201cIt was an homage to Luke Skywalker,\u201d he heard Walthius explain as he left. \u201cFrom
The Empire Strikes Back<\/span>.\u201d<\/div>\n Wow, Jeff thought. What a geek. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sohere's Chapter One of my book. Yes, it's late, So are my birthday greetings to my big sister, JBN. Happy birthday, JBN! And happy birthday today to my lovely bride Mrs. Cornell, who is now older than me again.\u00a0 Anyway, you know the rules. Actually, there are no rules. Savage this without mercy. (You can ...
Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=151"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4833,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions\/4833"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}