POUNDS\u2019 questions from my last entry got me reminiscing about my many academic sins, and I now regret accusing my Driver\u2019s Ed teacher of being a lush. True, he had that reputation, so I ran with it in the previous post, but I have no proof that such was the case. All I know was that the dude was practically comatose throughout class, and nobody learned a damn thing from him. Although I took it upon myself to occasionally liven things up. The only time I actually got the teacher\u2019s attention was when I started going \u201cvroom vroom\u201d and then proceeded to drive my desk around the room.<\/p>\n
He kicked me out of class that day. SOOOO worth it.<\/p>\n
Driver\u2019s Ed brought out the worst in me. The family discussed this over Thanksgiving, too, and my mother decided that I got along great with teachers I respected and then went out of my way to make life a living hell for the rest of them. There is some truth in that statement, although it ignores the fact that at one time or another, every one of those teachers I loathed ended up subbing in Driver\u2019s Ed.<\/p>\n
My brother recalled the time that Coach Moriarty filled in for McLeish. I didn\u2019t know Coach Moriarty, he being one of those athletic types, but I knew instantly that I didn\u2019t like him. So, during the course of the class period, I decided to insert a capped pen into my left ear.<\/p>\n
I was sitting in the very back of the room. I said nothing. I was just sitting there, a placid smile pasted on my face, with a pen in my ear.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t take long to get a reaction.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, you!\u201d Moriarty said after a minute or two, pointing directly at me.<\/p>\n
I feigned surprise, even looking over my shoulder to see if perhaps he was addressing someone else.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, you!\u201d he said, angrier this time. \u201cTake that pen out of your ear!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d I answered, perhaps a little too loudly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said take that stupid pen out of your ear!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d I said again, almost shouting. \u201cI can\u2019t hear you. I have a pen in my ear.\u201d<\/p>\n
That got some nervous laughter from the rest of the class, who were a lot more scared of this twerp than I was. Still, it was enough to show that I had succeeded in undermining this little tyrant\u2019s authority. This displeased him mightily, and you could actually see the veins in his neck begin to throb. Through clenched teeth, he asked me my name, and I gave it to him pleasantly. (The calmer I was, the madder he got. )<\/p>\n
So he tried to up the stakes a little bit.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would your father say if he knew you were sitting in my class with a pen in your ear?\u201d he demanded to know.<\/p>\n
\u201cGosh, I\u2019m not sure,\u201d I said with wide-eyed innocence. \u201cYou\u2019ll have to ask him, I suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll do that!\u201d<\/p>\n
The moment was gone after that. The rest of the class passed without incident. Although I seem to recall that I spent the remainder of the period with my head on my desk buried underneath my notebook binder, which I\u2019d made into a little fort in the hopes of bugging him even further. But that got me nothing. I\u2019d used up my best material with the pen-in-the-ear gambit.<\/p>\n
My brother, who actually WAS a high school athlete, bumped into Moriarty after that, and the esteemed coach asked \u201cWhat is with your brother?! That guy is out to lunch!\u201d He then told my brother that he\u2019d tried to call my father, but he couldn\u2019t get him because he was out to lunch. \u201cNot like your brother, though \u2013 he was literally out to lunch.\u201d Because, you know, Dad was eating lunch. Unlike me, who was just nuts. Not literally nuts, like walnuts or cashews, but figuratively speaking.<\/p>\n
Was there a point to this? Other than Driver\u2019s Ed sucks?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"POUNDS\u2019questions from my last entry got me reminiscing about my many academic sins, and I now regret accusing my Driver\u2019s Ed teacher of being a lush. True, he had that reputation, so I ran with it in the previous post, but I have no proof that such was the case. All I know was that ... Read more<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stallioncornell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}