Got here late. Obama blames the economic crisis on George Bush. He needs to read my “Bailout for Dummies.” This is sheer scapegoating. Now he’s beating up on CEOs with bonuses and golden parachutes. He says middle class needs a rescue package – a mini-New Deal. Lots of class warfare tonight.
McCain looks awkward and starts to sound populist. He lurches into energy independence. Let’s not raise taxes on anybody…today. Wants a package of reforms. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He wants to do something about home values…? Wants Washington to BUY INDIVIDUAL HOME MORTGAGES?! What kind of jackassery is this? First use of “my friends.” Thinks Washington buying homes will creates jobs. Second “my friends.” This is pure gunk.
Brokaw asks who’d they’d appoint as Treasury Secretary. McCain starts with Warren Buffet. Gag. This guy is AWFUL. Now says maybe Meg Whitman. Now starts to complain about corruption on Wall Street and greed. He’s an economic buffoon.
Obama likes Buffet, too. Slams trickle down economics. How can Obama get away with slamming McCain for saying economy is fundamentally sound when he said exactly the same thing this week? Class warfare abounds.
Oliver Clark wants an explanation of the bailout. McCain says it isn’t a bailout; it’s a rescue. Cites his boneheaded campaign suspension. How dumb is this guy? OKAY… here we go! Starts to slam Fannie and Freddie and links Obama to it. Hope he keeps this up. He looks uncomfortable. Stumbling through a slam on Fannie and Freddie slams. Now tries to sort of explain the rescue package. Goes back to his WRETCHED idea of DC buying houses.
Obama’s is actually answering Oliver’s question, and doing so quite reasonably. Point for Obama. Now gets defensive about Fannie and Freddie and raises a deregulation boogeyman. Obama tries to pretend he was out ion front on this. Now being defensive about Fannie Mae. Now tries to link McCain to Fannie. Says “I’m not pointing figures; how is this going to impact you?” Obama seems to understand this issue – he’s walking away with this.
Brokaw asks if the economy is going to get much worse before it gets better. Obama says no, but can’t say why. Goes back to this vapid “”2oth century system for 21st century markets.” That means nothing. Stump speech. Stump speech.
McCain says it depends on what we do and then GOES BACK TO DC BUYING MORTGAGES. Are conservatives going to line up with this? Can anyone tell him how stupid this is? Cites some letter that Obama didn’t sign. McCain DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE ECONOMY. AT ALL.
Weird looking chick asks how we can trust either of you. Obama gets a little folksy with her. He’s got a very light, personal touch. Then he goes into slamming Bush. Tedious. Says “nobody is completely innocent,” and then says it’s all Bush’s fault. Goes stump speechy again. Health care. Energy. College. Now says he’s cutting more than he’s spending. Bullpucky!
McCain tries to give essentially the same answer. Talks about taking on special interests. Boasts of the horrific abominations of campaign finance reform and climate change. Boasts that he’s a disloyal Republican. Bipartisanship, Johnny? Translation: “Screw over my own party.” Goes into earmarks. Tries to attack Obama on spending. Looks desperate. At least he’s not smiling like soom zombie vampire. “My friends” again. My fiancee’s probably drunk by now. My daughter Chloe comes into the room to say she read something about the economy that has to do with rattlesnakes.
Brokaw asks them to rank priorities of health care, energy, and entitlement reform. McCain says we can work on all of them. “My friends” #4. Fiancee sloshed. McCain talks about all his creepy Democrats friends. This guy is so mind-blowingly awful that I want to stick a hot curling iron in my eye socket.
Obama says we’re going to have to prioritize. Energy is at the top of the list. This guy sounds like a grown-up; McCain sounds like the guy yelling “get off my lawn.” Have to go get shampoo for Cornelius.
Shampoo gotten. Obama pretending he has line-item veto. Slams tax cuts.
McCain’s first question from the Internet. Question: what sacrifices will we have to make? McCain says we will have to elimnate some programs. Now McCain pretends he has the line-item veto. Says he’s going to cut DEFENSE SPENDING?!!! Really? That’s the first thing at the top of the list? McCain is NOT A REPUBLICAN. Goes back to earmarks. Says some “good” projects will be cut. Now says he won’t cut defense spending. This guy is a deluded old gasbag. Now goes back to health care and energy – wants to do them at the same time.
Obama begins with 9/11 reference. Slams Bush for saying “go out and shop.” Chloe says John McCain will win because of Sarah Palin. She’s wrong, but I don’t tell her that. Obama goes into energy. Slams foreign cars built in South Korea. Chloe asks “why not North Korea?” Obama wants to double the Peace Corps. Chloe wants to know if that includes kids. I say no. I may be wrong.
Brokaw asks how we control deficits. Obama says both spending and revenue sides need to be addressed. Obama predictably slams tax cuts. Says people don’t feel like they’re sharing the burden. CLass warfare crap. Stalliondo comes in naked, slapping buttcheeks. Wants to get in the bathtub. Leaving to go draw his bath.
Water is running. McCain says “my friends” twice. Slams Obama on taxes, yet maintains he won’t “cut taxes for the wealthy.” He loses. Brokaw won’t let Obama respond.
Obama says he won’t address entitlements for two years. Says “McCain’s Straight Talk Express lost a wheel.” Obama’s tax cut for 95% of Americans, which is ludicrous. Says “only a few percent” of small businesses make more than 250,000 bucks. He’s wrong. I don’t think he’s lying; he’s just wrong. He does NOT understand taxes. Neither does McCain, but at least McCain is fumbling around on the right side of the issue. Blames Bush again.
McCain starts laughing, and nobody else does. Another “my friends.” And another. Calls for a “commission.” Oh, THAT’LL do it! Brags about what a crappy, awful Republican he is. Slams Obama for raising taxes. Brags about his record. Another “my friends.” Someone hit this guy in the head, please.
Chick asks about climate change and “green jobs.” McCain brags about his Lieberman crap. Stalliondo dumps an entire bottle of shampoo on his head. Leaving to rinse his hair so I don’t have to listen to this ghastly dreck.
Obama talks about a new energy economy. Says the computer was “invented by a bunch of government scientists?” Don’t think that’s true. Obama claims to favor nuclear power. Stalliondo out of tub, says “I like orange.” Obama calls for a sustained effort on energy. Obama slams US oil use. “Can’t drill our way out of the problem.” Global warming cited, even though the globe is cooler than it was 10 years ago. Wants us to produce all of China’s energy, too.
Brokaw whines about time. He wants to know if we should fund a “Manhattan-like project” for new energy sources, or fund lots of garages? Bad question – we should free up entrepreneurs, but McCain doesn’t agree. Another “my friends.” McCain calls Obama “that one.” Wanders into voting against spending. Supports off-shore drilling. Obama looks on serenely. He’s mopping the floor with McCain’s geezery arse.
Obama asked if health care should be treated as a commodity. Obama tells sob stories and talks about rising health care costs. Obama lays out a simple health care plan. Wants all medical records on computers. Slams McCain’s $5000 health care tax credit and sounds bright on this.
McCain starts saying “me, too.” Begins repeating Obama’s answer. Slams a government solution and mandates. Says Obama will fine you if you don’t get insurance. Starts talking about going across state lines. His health care plan is more market based, but he presents the case for it clumsily. Says he needs a hair transplant. He’s warbling the right tune, but his singing voice sounds like a belching orangutan.
Brokaw if health care is a right, privilege, or responsibility? McCain says responsibility and then answers as if it’s a right. Goes back toward Obama’s fines. Obama says health care is a right. Ah, new rights. They’re quite expensive, you know. Obama repeats his previous answer. Now starts talking about insurance companies being evil and says crap about mandates. he’s going over, and Brokaw won’t stop him. McCain asks for the size of the fine and gets crickets.
McCain is asked how economic stress will affect our ability to be a peacemaker. McCain says we have to have a strong economy. “My friends.” America is the greatest force for good in the world. McCain’s strongest answer of the night. Cleta screaming in the background.
Family meltdown with much shrieking. Missed five minutes. Heard snippets of Obama anti-Iraq drivel. Says we can’t be everywhere all the time. Pretends our allies hate us. Talks about Darfur.
McCain asked about McCain Doctrine. “My friends.” Slams Obama on withdrawal from Iraq. “My friends.” My fiancee may be dead by now. Says we must do whatever we can to prevent genocide. Says we need a “cool hand on the till,” which disqualifies him. Brags about standing up to Reagan. Why is insulting Republicans such a huge badge of honor for this clown?
Good, conservative question for Obama: should the US respect Pakistani sovereignty or ignore the borders and pursue our enemies? Obama dodges; slams Iraq. Obama claims al Qaeda is stronger now than any time since 2001 – not true. Wants more troops in Afghanistan. Rattles a saber at Pakistan. Says we should take out OBL whether or not Pakistan lets us.
McCain pauses – preparing to whiff it. Talks about Teddy Roosevelt. Says Obama talks loudly. McCain says we should attack Pakistan without announcing it. Starts recounting Afghani history for no particular reason. Calls for an Afghan surge. Talks about having visited some weird Waziristan or something like that. Talk softly, carry a big stick.
Scrap about follow-up, and Obama gets one. Obama says he didn’t call for an invasion of Pakistan and then calls for an invasion of Pakistan to get OBL. Slams McCain for singing “bomb bomb bomb Iran” and calling for annhiliation of North Korea. McCain tries to get a little dig in and fails. Slams American ally Musharraf.
McCain apologizes for singing. “I’ll get Osama bin Laden, my friends.” I’ll miss my drunken fiancee. Boasts of his experience… blah blah blah.
Brokaw asks how you reorganize Afghan strategy because we’re supposedly losing there. Obama says yank troops out of Iraq and put ’em in Afghanistan. McCain says we need an Afghanistan surge without actually saying it. Speaking in legislative shorthand. Looks old. Thinks Petraeus can work miracles.
Question: how can we apply pressure on Russia for humanitariam issues? McCain says Russia’s behavior is bad. Says Putin is a KGB jerk. Goes into Ukraine. He sounds solid on this. Wants Ukraine’s membership in NATO.
Obama says we must deal with the resurgence of Russia. Says he agrees with McCain. Says we have to provide financial and concrete assistance to help rebuild economies. Obama fumbling around a bit for the first time tonight. Point for McCain on this one. Lurches back to Iraq to get on solid stump speech ground.
Brokaw asks a yes or no. Asks if Russia is an evil empire. Obama says “they’ve engaged in evil behavior.” McCain says “maybe.” It depends on a lot of things. Says yes means cold war is back, while no means we ignore their behavior. Says we can deal with them, but they’re facing a determined US.
Two more questions. First is about Israel. What we do if Iran attacks Israel? Will we wait for the UN? McCain stalls for time. Shakes hand. Says we won’t wait for security council to defend Israel. Says Iran is a great threat with nukes. Reminder about Obama’s “no preconditions” gunk. Brings up loony “League of Democracies” crap. Says “My friend,” singular. Does that count?
Obama “me, toos” on service. Says we can’t allow Iran to get a nuclear weapon. Sounds resolute without answering question. Refuses to take military options off the table. Says he WON’T go to UN?! Oh, wait, he’s hedging on that one. Now talking about diplomacy, etc., and wanders into familiar lib territory. Time to end this debate/McCain mauling. Now talking about talks.
Brokaw asks “what don’t you know, and how will you learn it?” Obama makes a joke about his wife. Obama says it’s never the challenges you expect; it’s the ones you don’t. Goes into biographical/flag waving mode. Stalliondo comes in and wants his pajamas on.
McCain gives closing statement, saying what we don’t know is the future. Boasts of experience. Goes into his own bio mode. References his own experience being tortured. This is powerful stuff, but it won’t be enough to salvaged a dreadful performance.
Bottom Line: get ready for President Barack H. Obama. McCain loses, and loses badly.