All a-Twitter!

I voluntarily tweeted about five times today.

I kept it pretty simple. Everything I said was stupid and inconsequential. I used no hashtags or @ symbols, and I offered such wisdom as, The future is meat” and “Sharpening the saw with armpit farts.”

Why, you may ask?

Well, in migrating this blog to a new server, I found a plug-in that will allow me to show my Twitter feed on the sidebar. My Twitter feed consists entirely of links to this blog that are automatically generated each time I make a new post. So I wanted to populate it with something even more exciting, hence the dada-esque recounting of my past 24 hours.

Will I keep it up? Maybe. Heaven knows I have plenty of stupid thoughts that occur to me over the course of a day, and I don’t always want to inflict them on my actual friends on Facebook. I think I have about five Twitter followers who are people I actually know, and the rest are anti-Mormons who berate me for believing in ancient American chariots. If Mike Norton and his pals like hearing about my armpit farts, then who am I to deny my public?

Honestly, I don’t get Twitter at all.

On Facebook, you can create conversations with actual people you know in a semi-closed environment. With Twitter, you can only spew 140 characters at a time into the ether, and much of that cyber-real estate is eaten up by links, hashtags, and other illiterate detritus. Everyone can see it, and everyone can respond, which is a bit too exhibitionistic for my tastes.

I know, I know – what is this blog except for an outlet for a middle-aged goober to make a fool of himself? Talk about exhibitionism! But here I control the universe, and I can block, ignore, or manipulate comments I don’t like. I can go on at length, and I don’t have to hashtag anything.

Seriously, I don’t get hashtags, either.

But as long as I have that feed on my blog, I ought to do something with it, right? I’m building the brand! So you should probably expect more updates. Just don’t expect anything of the updates.

Next tweet: “What’s the deal with shoes?”

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