John McCain, standard bearer for the Republican Party, is going to go on a “climate change tour!” Isn’t that great? (Kill me now.)

My wife thinks yesterday’s post is boring – and it seems many of you agree – so she wants me to talk about Iron Man, my sexuality, or whether or not I know how to sweep a floor. I find it interesting – perhaps frightening? – that my wife wants me to talk about my sexuality, but I think it’s because I told her that the posts that got the most comments were the ones where I denied I was gay. So I will deny it again – I’m not gay, people! – and see how many comments I get.

I’m happy to talk about Iron Man, though. It’s easily the best movie of the summer, and I can say that conclusively without having seen anything else. I’ve never been much of a Robert Downey Jr. fan – I’ve always found him smug and self-satisfied and little bit too much like the spoiled rich kids I grew up with at Calabasas High. So believe me when I say that Downey is flawless in this film. I used to think Tobey Maguire was the best comic book character come to life, but Downey is the quintessential Tony Stark – before and after his crisis of conscience, which surprised me. The line between Stark and Downey is blurry in the beginning, as both are self-absorbed, substance abusing idiots, but what surprised me is that Downey made the transition from Self-Absorbed Doofus to Decent Guy without any effort. This flick also the strongest opening sequence of any superhero movie in memory, and it’s easily the most character driven. You don’t mind that the complete Iron Man costume doesn’t show up until the last act of the film.

I know that “character driven” is usually synonymous with “boring,” something Iron Man definitely is not. Jeff Bridges’ perfect baddie sees to that. It’s no accident that this is the first movie that Marvel has made with its own money, because it’s slavishly true to its comic book roots. This gives me higher hopes for the Incredible Hulk, which I now want to see, whereas before I did not.

And I know that by dubbing Iron Man the best movie of the summer, I’m stepping on Indiana Jones’ toes, yet several reviews have started appearing for the 4th Indy flick, and they’re not all that positive. One I particularly like is over at AintItCoolNews, and it’s brilliantly written, although I can state with some level of certainty that the reviewer did not see the film and is just yanking everyone’s chain. But why would anyone want to review a movie they haven’t seen and try to sneak said review on to a major movie website? And why would they give Indiana Jones a bad review when they really, really want the movie not to suck? Maybe it’s just to lower expectations so that no one’s disappointed. Maybe it’s just the thrill of pulling a fast one. Or maybe it’s because the author is, like me, a jerk.

Back to the gay thing. My wife and I were talking about a friend of hers who was very effeminate, but probably not gay. I asked her if I was even remotely effeminate, because I really don’t think I am.

“No, you’re not effeminate,” she said. “But you’re very nerdy.” And to that I plead guilty.

I also can’t sweep a floor to save my life.