There’s this weird dealie going around on Facebook where if you’re tagged by your friends “you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.” So I wrote it, and, not wanting to waste it just on Facebook folks, I though I’d share it with the public at large. However, since many of you who read this blog have already read the same note on Facebook, I thought I’d add a couple of interesting things to it. Or, at least, a couple of things. Whether they’re interesting or not is up to you.
Plus most of this crap I’ve covered in the blog already anyway.
1. I won the district wide spelling bee for the Las Virgenes School District in seventh grade. Bad spelling drives me up a wall.
2. When I was three years old, I took a dump in Howard Hughes’ swimming pool in Florida. We were staying there because my dad was working for him, and my brother told me if you pee in a pool, the chlorine makes it disappear. I figured if it worked for number one, it would work for number two, but no such luck.
3. I’m fifteen inches taller than my wife. (And ten months younger.)
4. I’ve found that bungee jumping is the only thing in life where the anticipation is not nearly as bad as the actual experience.
5. I think the word “moist” is funny for reasons that defy explanation.
6. I have no sideburns. I can grow a beard, but it doesn’t connect above my ear. So I usually stick to a goatee.
7. I used to be able to belch the entire alphabet in one belch. Those days are done.
8. I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. That’s even more remarkable when you realize that I have very large hands. And large feet. (That’s as far as I’m going with this.)
9. I have a British driver’s license that doesn’t expire until the year 2038.
10. There is a 44-year-old Navy veteran named Andrew Fullen in Chicago who thinks I am Glen A. Larson, the creator of Manimal, Magnum P.I., and Battlestar Galactica. This man hates me with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. I have never met him.
11. I once made Maximillian Schell say the words “wazoo city, babe.”
12. I think a messy trumpet is always funny.
13. About ten years ago, my then-two-year-old daughter once almost ripped the pearls off of Barbara Bush’s neck.
14. As a little kid, I got Jaclyn Smith’s autograph on the set of Charlie’s Angels. I also saw the original model for the Battlestar Galactica, despite not being Glen A. Larson, the show’s creator.
15. I’ve only walked out of one movie in my entire life – Adam Sandler’s “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan.”
16. I grew up in a household filled with incontinent dogs.
17. I once saw Jamie Farr in a supermarket. He was looking at soup cans.
18. For about four years running, I had the high score on Indiana Jones Pinball at the Jackson Hole Arcade. For all I know, I still have it, but it’s been over a decade since I’ve been back to check.
19. I played right field for a long stream of little league T-ball and baseball teams. One coach told me it was because I “had a strong arm.” Yeah, right.
20. I think the Boy Scouts of America is a terrorist organization.
21. If I were on death row, my last meal would be barbecued crab legs from Joe’s Crab Shack.
22. I have been fired four times in my life, but only lost my job twice as a result. Go figure.
23. My first girlfriend ever is now a bisexual polygamist.
24. I once wrote an anonymous love poem to a sheep that got published in a university anthology.
25. I’m not a “huggy” person. Or a “kissy” person. Not that I don’t like hugs and kisses, mind you; I just prefer them in the proper context.
AND NOW, FOR YOUR EXTRA BLOG BONUS…
26. I learned how to play the tin whistle for while walking through Thurso, Scotland for weeks while my car was in the shop. I’m actually pretty good at it.
27. I once walked around the Paramount lot with nothing more than a clipboard and a pencil and gained entry to the sets of Star Trek: The Next Generation and Cheers. You can go anywhere if you look like you know what you’re doing.