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Now what?

So as family members in Utah discovered at Christmas, I finished my novel and had five copies printed by, the vanity publishing house that has produced Languatron’s masterworks over the years. I wanted to print more copies, but I didn’t want to do it until I saw what it would look like in print. The thing comes in at 102,000 words and 400 pages in a too-small 11-point Garamond type.

My parents have one copy, which they have subsequently lost. My wife has one, which she’s read and marked up, and her sister has one, which she has read, along with her 16-year-old son. My 17-year-old nephew has read it, and everyone has noticed the various typos and crap, but for the most part, reviews have been positive.
The cover looks like this:

I drew it myself! If you’re impressed, you shouldn’t be. I’m not sure if I’m set on this particular title, either. I’m still open to suggestions.
Anyway, I’m happy to provide people who want it with a digital copy, but I think it’s easier and more satisfyingly read in print. After fixing some typos and some minor revisions, I’m going to print up another batch and give that one away to interested parties. Rest assured that the new ones will have a more readable font.
I can’t tell you how invaluable all the comments and such have been in the course of preparing this thing. If you doubt me, witness the blurbs I put on the back cover:

You can click on that image to get a larger version. I have lovingly dedicated the book to anyone willing to bother to read it all the way through.
If you want to read the thing digitally, I can send you an electronic copy, but it’s much more satisfying to read the thing in print. I can whip up a Kinkos-style wirebound 8 1/2 x 11 version quickly for anyone anxious to read it right away. Or you can wait for the secound round of vanity published versions, which will probably come off the presses in late January.
But here’s the thing – what do I do next? Any literary agents out there who have read some of this online and are convinced of the Genius of the Cornell? Getting the book disgorged from my brain was a long and tedious exercise, but it’s done. I fear that getting the book actually published may prove to be a more daunting task. If anyone has any ideas as to how to jumpstart that process, I’m all ears.
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  1. I loved the quotes on the back the most. Nice work, and congratulations! You can now call yourself a “published author”. Cross that off the bucket list!

  2. I’ll take a copy. I actually read the blogged blurbs, but didn’t comment. I may also be able to help with the agent thing. I know people who know people.

  3. Have your people call my people. They may be able to set up a meeting for a job interview for a night-time trucking position. Not much help in getting your masterwork published, but hey, it beats a smack on the back of the ear.

  4. I would say wait to try to find a publisher until after you’ve dealt with the feedback you’re going to receive from the initial copies you’ve handed out. Make the corrections/alterations.But after that, you can make your book available on Then, it’s up to you to market it.There’s a Getting Your Book Published for Dummies that I would recommend. But it also says that never submit a vanity press version of your book to a publisher, because it makes it appear that you weren’t able to get it published any other way. With the way the ease and availablitiy of vanity press technology has changed though, that may be outdated advice.Nevertheless, using a vanity press can give you some great feedback to make final alterations before sumbission to a publisher. I would include an e-mail address in the final vanity copy, so that readers unknown to you can contact you with feedback.Now you need to get to work on your collected GINO reviews. Only 1 half season left. Oh yeah, and there’s 10 new webisodes on the site now.

  5. I would be extremely interested in getting a copy of your book (I’d be perfectly fine reading it on the computer screen, so if you just want to e-mail it to me that would save you some $).

  6. As one of the readers of the book, let me just say:You thought it was weird.It just gets weirder.I never would have been able to understand it if it had been posted chapter by chapter, which my father says is what happened. It’s consistent within itself, though, except for the scenes where Jeff converses with himself when he should be conversing with… don’t want to give it away…My father has read it, my brother is reading it, and as soon as he’s done we’re going to start marking it up. Stallion Cornell is going to have to release draft two soon!

  7. Our cousin at DB said that real publishing houses won’t touch a book that has been self published first. So, if you want this to go to a serious market, I wouldn’t print more than just a few copies that are necessary to get feedback, and I wouldn’t count any of those copies as completed drafts–you should consider them works in progress, nothing else.I haven’t read my copy yet. I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done.